Friday, February 26, 2010

Romeo and Juliet: Sealed With a Kiss Part 2

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Ah, scenic Pleasantville Beach...
"Just a minute, I'm being emo..."
*sigh* "I wish the ink and paint department wasn't on strike..."
Next on Jackass....
Oooh, they could've been a feature attraction at Cypress Gardens with this...
"Okay: 'Get the fuck away from me.' How's that?"
It's not fair when the movie makes the commentary for you.
Good.
Mercutio has an infectious laugh--in that it makes me ill.
"I mean, if even us crashing into a rock and sustaining massive brain damage can't make you smile..."
Please tell me the shark is Tybalt.
"That's what bothers me."
AAAAAAAAAAAAGHKILLITWITHFIRE!!!
"You're depressed and that amuses me!"
"No, I don't want to sing 'Mister Sandman'!"
"I REGRET NOTHIIIIING..."
"Crap, I can still hear them down here."
So this is what Little Mermaid would have looked like if Ralph Bakshi had animated it.
I always said Shakespeare needed more doo-wop music.
Gaaaah! Damn you movie, you will NOT break me!
"I don't like oldies!"
Well, can't argue with you so far.
"Not just anybody."
"I need a girl who looks like Eliza Dushku."
Don Bluth's Finding Nemo
A whiny brat with a creepy stare?
"Great, I can't feel my brain. Oh well, no big loss."
"C'mon, we're hitting Colfax Street tonight!"
*Psycho violins*
He forgot the "mad."
I guess seals don't use Vagisil.
"C'moooon, I wanna get laaaaaaid!"
Does his part have notes, or anything?
"Oh, and within my own species, sorry."
Ah, the rare Evil Fish!
Oh hey, he found the melody!
Helen Keller should do, I think.
Ay-yi-yi is right.
"Yum, dinner!"
*winces*
That pun is illegal in fifteen states, isn't it?
Oh, that explains a lot.
Louis Prima: LIVE from the North Pole!
Wow, I didn't know you could rent the Black Pearl for events.
They haven't been the same since Sebastian took that gig with Disney.
"Um, are you dancing or having an epileptic fit?"
"Oh yeah, that's the spot..."
"Gee Dad, this is the best bat mitzvah ever!"
"Eh, this party's lame. Let's go see what's shaking on the Exxon Valdez..."
"Yours for only 19.95!"
"There, I've fulfilled my Fat Comic Sidekick quota for the scene."
You don't already know the answer to that?
Oh my God, I think his eyes stole a piece of my soul.
"Their cover charge is outrageous!"
No downside.
"I don't like being killed."
"What's the worst that can happen: feud-doomed romance and suicide?"
He forgot the "bater."
So, his plan is to roll in powdered sugar?
That's not sand, it's White-Out!
"Oh my God, a dramatic musical cue!"
Are elephant seals really bioluminescent?
"THIS HOT TUB IS FREEZING!"
No, don't let him near the buffet!
So, everyone in this movie is mentally damaged.
So it's the North Pole version of the Mr. Creasote sketch...
"Yum, dessert!"
Teddy Roosevelt called, he wants his mustache back.
I can only imagine the sinus problems he has.
Oh please, everyone she knows has fish breath.
"Sorry, hairball."
"Just a minute, I want to read Pearls Before Swine..."
"That is one of those fried-tortilla things, isn't it?"
"No, I said tango, not samba!"
o/...You'll find your happiness in Rio...o/
"Um, I'm five..."
So, he's basically a cross between Prince Escalus, Count Paris, and...a lump of suet, I guess.
"We could be on Antarctica's Got Talent!"
"Damn, he ate all the grilled scallops, too!"
"If I had any testosterone I'd do something about this..."
"Well actually yes, Emily Post says that's the correct protocol..."
"I don't wanna get myself killed!"
"Party pooper!"
"White seals who look NOTHING like prominent members of a rival family!"
"Geez, look at all that sand."
"I know, who the Hell do they think they're fooling, anyway?"
He's going to start telling golf jokes everyone's heard before next, isn't he?
"Why do you always embarrass me on our dates?"
Did he say that, or did I think it?
"Oooh, I hope Prince has a fox trot free on his dance card!"
"Ouch, that was my spine!"
I think Mercutio wanted to come to this party because he's already struck out with all the Montague girls.
"These fake teeth should scare him off."
o/...Fish heads, fish heads...o/
It's like the ballroom scene in Beauty and the Beast, only I want to kill myself.
"She's so cute when she's distressed."
They're seals; they'll clap and bark at anything.
"I guess being the Fat Comic Sidekick has its advantages..."
"Apollo Ohno's got nothing on me."
"Ah, back to Dave Barry."
"Neither am I, but I'd like to wait until I graduate kindergarten..."
"I shall have the lobster bisque!"
"Um, my dad's already married, and anyway I don't think you're his type..."
"Mmm, you taste like tuna."
"Whether or not Avatar lives up to the hype."
Suicide seems very reasonable at this point.
"There's no crying in Shakespeare!"
"Or in complete despair, it's hard to tell."
"Oh there he is, down the well."
.oO(Maybe I should have just told him I wasn't interested...naaaah.)
He kind of sounds like a drunken Barney.
Anime characters are looking at their eyes and going "Daaaaaaamn..."
"Sorry, my voice track skipped."
"Do Not Enter."


Capped by TheDiva
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Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Romeo and Juliet: Sealed With a Kiss Part 1

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Nibbelink? Isn't that a goblin in Harry Potter?
By the pricking of my thumbs, something silly this way comes.
Pride Rock just wasn't the same after Hurricane Katrina...
No, don't jump! You're a young tree and have so much to live for!
VISIT scenic Hades!
WALL-E?
Maybe the film is entirely made up of establishing shots...
Ah, the wonder and majesty of the Aurora PAR Light...
*snores*--Huh? Oh, I guess the movie's starting.
Except humans had two sets of sexual organs apiece...
The Marazanos and the Masserias.
Both had none whatsoever.
OW! Who dropped that anvil?
Excuse you!
"Quit throwing your fish heads into our yard!"
"Oh yeah? I hear you barking at three am one more time and I'm calling the cops!"
Well, I think it started when the brown seals started immigrating in great numbers into the white seals' nation in order to escape persecution elsewhere...
Brad and Jennifer?
o/...So we gotta say goodbye for the migration season, baby I promise you this...o/
So, Shakespeare with arctic wildlife and big-band music. This is a winning combination right here...
Ah, I think I found the Fat Comic Sidekick (TM).
If they were walruses, would that make them TUSK-en raiders?
(Sorry.)
"Ah, the oil-slicked ducks are out, the fish are rotting on the shore...it's good to be alive!"
"Do you bite your flipper at me, sir?"
"No, sir, I do not bite my flipper at you, sir, but I bite my flipper..."
Filmed on beautiful Lisa Frank Beach.
Idiots! Don't you know flippers only squeal on pavement?
"Crap, I knew I should have never left Pier 39!"
Backgrounds by Barbie
"I'm posing for the Little Mermaid statue, can't it wait?"
"I knew I should have let him get run over by that motorboat..."
"Hey, why is everything upside down?"
"You can't kill me, I'm the comic relief!"
Voice by a bankrupt man's Nathan Lane.
"How about after he kills you, is that okay?"
"Ha-ha, I am smaller and less muscular than you are, you dare not challenge me!"
"That is the cliched Shakespeare quote."
"Catfish? I LOVE catfish!"
Look, could you mangle one play at a time, please?
"Argh."
They really shouldn't spin their flippers like that, it wears down the treads...
Can we skip ahead to the tragic death and suicide stuff already, please?
"Help, I'm suddenly forced perspective and tiny!"
"Uh-oh, I don't think our Bartlett's Quotations is going to get us out of this!"
BANZAI!!
Aaaand they chase them back into an even bigger group of Montague seals; who chase them back, etc., etc., etc....
"Please, my doctor says I'm not supposed to run!"
"Sweet, Mercutio and Benvolio are getting eaten! Let's watch!"
Told you.
Don't worry, I'm sure the plot will show up eventually...
"*sigh* They've been at this for five hours now..."
Is that fighting or foreplay?
"VISA, MASTERCARD or DISCOVEEEEEEEER!!!"
And they explode and create little baby seals!
So instead of swordfighting, they burp in each others' faces a lot.
"C'mon, blubberface!"
"Fishbreath!"
"Otariid!"
When you get to a quote from your OWN play, let us know.
The funny sound effects are what really heighten the drama.
Aaand he burns up on re-entry!
"Ha-ha, I just pulverized his skull. He's a vegetable now."
We're five minutes in, shouldn't we have reached an initiating event or ascending action or something?
"No hickeys!"
"Sorry, too much soda."
It's not blue-ringed. Shoot.
"Calamari! Thanks!"
I guess they're stuck fighting until a new sequence gets animated...
My God, he's the Scrappy-Doo of pinnipeds.
Set up butt joke, and...
...wait for it...
Butt joke GO!
Could someone turn off the John Coltrane, please?
"This bites. I'm going to go see if there's a part in the all-polar-bear production of Othello..."
"Great, and now the Armageddon is happening."
Uh-oh, you pissed off Pele...
"Just you wait, we're gonna RULE Vegas with this act!"
*Rite of Spring music*
Well, it's already a pretty bad movie, I suppose invoking the Scottish Play couldn't possibly make things worse...
I spoke too soon.
"Hold me!"
Big noisy sack of lard...so it's either Rush Limbaugh or Michael Moore.
"I-I loved 'When Doves Cry'!"
Now, this is just offensive to Jewish seals.
"All hail the almighty Sack O' Crap!"
So they fight over their color, but everyone kowtows to the ugly elephant seal who isn't even their species? I don't get it.
I couldn't agree more.
So, they just gave a trash bag a nose and animated it.
"A fifty dollar fine!"
Wow, wonder why they named it that.
Oh, thanks. I was confused for a moment.
Whoops, the movie shorted out!
Please, Shakespeare does not need more Ho Yay.
Eww, that had chunks in it!
Mercutio rides the short bus, doesn't he?
"So, um, feud's over then? Okay. That was easy."
Was that a belch, a sneeze, or a fart?
Wow, he's so heavy he affects light and weather patterns.
"Did we just get yelled at by a giant lima bean with features?"
"Bye, Larry."
"Bye, Bob. Same time next week?"
I'm guessing that is either Juliet or a Sea World mascot.
"We're pals, right Mercutio? Right?"
So, does Benvolio die in Romeo and Juliet?
No?
Crap.
"Shut up before I pop you."
"Will there be appetizers?"
Stop thou that fake Elizabethan phraseology!
"Mmmm...fish bait."
"C'mon, I want to score me some white tail!"
I'm okay with that.
"It's the ocean. It's always been there."
Nice of nature to provide Romeo with his own mood lighting.
"I'm ready for some sweet lovin'!"
"Does the phrase 'dumber than a bag of sea cucumbers' mean anything to you?"
Hey, if I were Romeo I'd be avoiding you guys too.
"God knows what he sees in you, but you are."
I know how he feels, we're not ten minutes in here and I feel ill.


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Monday, February 22, 2010

Duck and Cover

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And to the sound of the Dumb Dumb song, we welcome you to a classic piece of WTF.
The Allegory of Bertrand Russell
Clearly.
Wh-? Where did-?!
Oh god, the monkey was a suicide bomber!
He didn't speak unless spoken to...
"FOR THE CAUSE -!"
*bits of dead monkey begin to fall*
"Plod along mindlessly, and withdraw within yourself when there's unrest."
*instinctively mashes the Top Menu button*
"...any unathorized rebroadcast, retransmission, or relocation without the express written consent of the Civil Defense Administration is prohibited."
I think Bert's pretty much "out" already.
"You're a puss."
Scenes from "Burt the Turtle Fights VD"
Emotionally?
Sometimes monkeys just blow themselves up.
"Under my hairpiece, children."
But do we understand its needs?
"Such as school desegregation."
Alert the FBI if you see anyone talking to unknown fires in your neighborhood.
Hitler!
"If you ever need to drill a fire."
"Herbie: Fully Loaded" should be avoided at all costs.
"Our ragamuffins shall protect us from the cars."
Or risk suburban ostracism.
Pre-Tweens
Chances are you won't.
If you're not lucky enough to be vaporized instantly.
Or will again.
Miss Rumphius: Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb
"Burn your shadow into the pavement..."
"It can menace people near drugstores, and smoke marijuana."
Please. Bert is boiled like a sweet in there.
"Oh yeah. Oh god yeah."
Did you know your homeowner policy doesn't cover atomic brinksmanship?
Shame-wise
With your face?
Cover your back with your septum.
"Isn't this f*cking bullsh*t? Wouldn't we f*cking die anyway?"
"Shut the f*ck up, Betty."
Sometimes you will see the monkey, sometimes you will not.
"Permission to go faster, sir."
"PBS. No, the Mrs. Slocum's Pussy tote bag is at the $200 level."
"Does that look like an atomic bomb to you?"
You may be playing with yourself when the signal comes.
FASTER! TRAMPLE EACH OTHER, YOU F*CKERS! THE WEAK WILL NOT REPRODUCE UNDER THE NEW ORDER!
"Galactus!"
In your perfectly pressed suit.
Near the liqueur cabinet.
If you're in Chinatown...
"It's in my soundproofed apartment, right up there..."
"Let go of my elbow."

"Forget it, baby. It's... Chinatown."
"...you may encounter a Beatnik."

"Me?"
Unless you're The Flash.
"When they dump your books, dive into a fetal position, screaming like a little girl. Watch..."
"Ugod! Wah! Stopit! Stopit! Aaugh!"
"See how he's wet himself?"
"That'll keep them from stuffing you in the janitor's cart."
"Expect them to spit on you. Fortunately, no one can jack off fast enough to soil you in that manner."
I'll take my chances with the bomb, thank you.
Except the room itself.
"IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD, KIDS! INCEST! DRUGS! WAAAH! HA HA HA HA!"
"...they'll never live down the shame."
"Out of my way, b*tch!"
"Too bad they won't be around to enjoy it."
"A feeble attempt, really."
"Future civilizations will be amused by the shapes they leave in the half-molten topsoil."
GAH! They are!
Did she put her head through the cladding?
Or her head will be preserved, anyway.
"Tony regularly wets the bed as a result. Tony's dad beats him."
Tony, can I recommend the other side of the wall?
Tony thinks that if he can't see the shockwave, it can't see him.
"Notice how he weeps, and curses Oppenheimer."
Any unnecessary rubbing or thrusting he does is condoned by the United States Government.
"He's armed, so be careful of him in the ensuing anarchy."
"No matter how mad his demands."
The armored schoolbus
"Has it ever been cleaned down here?!"
"The glass may melt and splash across your body, casting your final scream in a hideous crystalline death mask."
"Stop eating the cooking fuel!"
If they know what's good for them.
Or they believe it, and that's the important bit for civil control.
As long as it's made of 3" thick lead.
"Which shouldn't be much of anywhere, or you'll just be getting what's coming to you, you slut."
That could have gone so many kinds of wrong.
"In all likelihood, falling structures will do this for you."
"Seriously, what the f*ck?"
"Review the life flashing before your eyes, as the air fills with a sound and smell of sizzling bacon."
"...lose that virginity fast."
Kill every monkey you see.
Don't call him Barry Allen?
Next from Astoria Public Schools, don't miss "It's a M.A.D., M.A.D., M.A.D., M.A.D. Cold War."
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Sunday, February 21, 2010

Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn 1987 Part 5

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"Oh my god, we'e in a Texas Chainsaw Massacre sequal!"
Don't you open that TRAP DOOR
you're a fool if you dare
Stay away from that TRAP DOOR
'cause there's something down ther
"Great, now I have brain damage!"
"I now realise that doing that was the most idiotic thing imaginable!"
HFV
"I guess it was because I kept forgetting to do the washing up!"
"Oh cr*p!"
"OH YEAH!!"
"THIS PLACE HAS RATS, I HATE RATS!!"
told you there was something down there
you know, when she said she'd swallow his soul I don't think this is what she had in mind
"I've been framed!"
why didn't the rest of them think of that?
"Mmmm, that's good eyeball!"
"Bad zombie, stay in the cellar!"
"And it has a camera."
"It's name is...Pooh."
"And that thing isn't either!"
'cause this is thriller
"Mmmm....hair!"
well there goes that idea
"He slimed me!"
"I was thinking about Monty Python and the Holy Grail, that really is funny."
bloody possessed clock


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Thursday, February 18, 2010

Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn 1987 Part 4

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Wait, haven't we already seen this bit?
"Heave...heave...heave"
"Who would've thought Bruce Campbell could be so heavy!"
"I shall call you Thing."
And the book undernath that one is called 100 Terrible Puns to Make Your Freinds Groan
"Well I'm stumped."
First Person Shooter: THE MOVIE
"Come on, get on with it."
"My own hand is insulting me!"
no, that was a nice wall!
Sam Raimi's The House that Bled to Death
Raimi: Sorry Bruce, left the tap running there, hope it wasn't a problem!
"This film ammuses me!"
the Pixar Lamp's evil brother
"Everything in this place laughs maniacally, I must be in Pee Wee's EVIL Playhouse!"
"BIG HUG!"
"Oh my gosh, other characters, I don't believe it!"


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The Phantom of the Opera--Sarah Brightman and Steve Harley

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Let's see...Schumacher, Schumacher...no, he's not involved here, we're safe.
I think.
"Rhett! Rhett!"
Gaaah! Forget the Phantom, save me from the creepy Boy George Twins!
So Raoul in this is a Canadian hockey player from 1985?
"I have to go, your mullet is frightening me."
Nothing says late 19th century France like electric guitar, drum kit and synthesizer hand-claps.
Ah, a wedding veil. Where else can you find a few yards of lace and some fake flowers for two hundred bucks?
Why does her mirror have a doily?
"...that my singing somehow makes the lights flicker."
This isn't a dressing room; it's a garden center.
"Hey, Christine."
"Hey, Alice, what's shaking?"
Gaah, he scalped Cupid and made a mask!
Strange duet? You mean that Rossini one with the cats?
Either he's standing on a fan or the Phantom had a lot of beans for dinner.
It's a little known fact that Phantom of the Opera has single-handedly kept the dry ice industry afloat for over twenty years.
"Oh, and please keep your hands and arms inside the boat. There is no flash photography permitted on this ride."
I didn't know the Paris Opera House was built on an ancient burial ground. Explains a lot, really.
Why is there a rasta vampire skull mounted on the prow?
.oO(Hey, I gotta do something between Indiana Jones gigs...)
That's a normal reaction to Joan Rivers.
She must have an outboard motor under her skirt.
Geez, what a wooden expression! Who did Sarah Brightman fuck to get this part, anyway?
...Oh yeah, right.
"SOMEONE GOOSED ME!"
Sarah saw the weeping angel behind her and is afraid to blink now.
The Phantom lives in the Haunted Mansion at Disneyland?
Still, it was nice of Alice Cooper to let them use his summer home for the shoot.
The opera is also haunted by the ghost of Eddie Van Halen.
Well, if you're going to have a theme wedding it makes sense to go all-out.
"Does Dracula know you borrowed his outfit?"
That's not a cape, it's a set of Isis wings!
"...and your Milano cookies!"
"Now, Christine, you are ready to take your place as lead singer of the Bangles!"
Please tell me that's a snake on her headdress...
Is it wise to do LSD before going onstage?
Your conductor tonight, Alan Cumming!
One night only at the Luxor!
"Love me, that's all I ask of you, eh?"
.oO(Jesus, she's tanking out there!)
You know, she'd probably sing better if you stopped yelling at her...
Soprano Yoga with Sarah Brightman!
This won't work; the chandelier will just get caught in his hair.
Still, this isn't nearly as ridiculous a concept as Love Never Dies...
That is one sharp butter knife!
"SAVE MY MULLET!!"
Ooh, must be the opera's time of the month.


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Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn 1987 Part 3

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"Vice to meet you."
"It looks great on the mantlepiece."
a chainsaw was murdered in that cupboard
Leatherfaceless
"Stop sawing yourself, stop sawing yourself!"
"Hey I've struck oil!"
"Go body go!"
well, no 'arm done
The Girlfriend that Wouldn't Die
"The amazing thing is, this isn't the worst headache I've ever had!"
Aw man, you had a perfectly good idea and now you've sprayed blood all over it
"Well I'll be having nightmares about that for the rest of my life."
He has a magic gun
Where'd he purchase that?
BRUCE CAMPBELL!!
"You wouldn't hurt, an old, weak harmless little rocking chair would you dear?"
"Well, now for a quick session with THE MIRROR OF MOCKERY!"
"Marry me!"
"How tacky, you know as well as I do that they only way to cut up a girlfreind is with a nice sharp hedge trimmer!"
"Stop strangling yourself, stop strangling yourself!"
"Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the grooviest one of all?"
he must have had the sugar
"Got yer face!"
"I'm right handed, you'll pay for this!"
"We're hunting wild cameramen."
"We'll give you 50 bucks now, and the rest when we get to Alderan."
having tried everything to cure his hand of evil Ash resorts to using the kitchen sink
"AH, my favourite plate!"
"AH, my other favourite plate!"
"Actually I hated that one so you've done me a favour really!"
"Stop using this joke, stop using this joke!"
what has his hand got against crockery nyway?
"Woops, I killed him."


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Sunday, February 14, 2010

Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn 1987 Part 2

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"Grr, I'm a shack, grr!"
"Danm I just realised I'm the only actor left, I've gotta carry this movie all by myself!"
Why does the sun always look huge in movies?
"COME BACK, CAMERAMAN NEED LIFT!"
I hope Raimi doesn't find out what you did to his car
"No, keep away from you creepy cameraman!"
oh it seems the camerman didn't want to play Hide and Seek
CAMERAMAN IS WALKING BACKWARDS FOR CHIRSTMAS
Bruce Campbell re-enacts a scene from Genesis of the Daleks
meanwhile in a different movie entirely...
"Have Babel Fish ready."
"In the Year 2000 every home will have its own self playing piano"
"Oh yeah I had a girlfriend didn't I!"
ah the grave marker must've been from an Ed Wood movie
Oh good, a Dullahan, just what this movie needed!
.oO I shouldn't have taken those drugs!
"You're mother sucks c*cks in hell."
"Well that was weird."
"Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself!"
"OH MY GOD A CHAIR!"
"I'm sitting in something wet!"
"Sometimes you just can't get rid of a head!"


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Saturday, February 13, 2010

Sylvia Browne's Predictions for 2009 (Part 1)

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We were. Let's see how you did.
You're not going to change them after the fact like you do on your website, are you?
Book sales down, Syl?
"Ribbit."
Puff puff. Pass. Prophecy. Prevaricate.
That wasn't the first one?
YOU'RE NOT A FRAUD!
Yes yes, my liberal sensibilities are sufficiently buttered up. Can we move on to the predictions?
Everyone expected the December interest rate cut you're referring to, and there was no cut in all of 2009.
Mexican labor?
And many things we don't.
Are we talking about lamp oil? Fish oil?
We sure did expect it though, didn't we?

You fail again, Professor Umbridge.
No, I know about Kermit Roosevelt overthrowing the elected government and installing the Shah in Iran.
All the live-long day.
Don't we see that every year?
All in December?
Strange that you didn't foresee the re-escalation in Afghanistan.
"Lending at the biggest U.S. banks has fallen more sharply than realized, despite government efforts to pump billions of dollars into the financial sector." ~The Wall Street Journal, 2009
"The tally of bank failures easily broke past the No. 100 milestone on Friday night, with regulators announcing the year's 106th closure. That's more than four times the number that were closed in 2008..." ~CNN Money, 2009
"I mean, when the party I predicted gets into the White House..."
In 2009?
With Brooks Garner. Brooks?

(Not really funny. He's just my old roommate.)
You're a psychic. Aren't you supposed to just know?
Yes, I'm sure somewhere "the islands" will have bad weather. Thank you.
"The 2009 Atlantic hurricane season was below average in activity, with a total of nine named storms and three hurricanes. For the first time since 2006, no storm brought hurricane force winds to the United States..." ~Wikipedia

"The 2009 Atlantic hurricane season was below average in activity, with a total of nine named storms and three hurricanes. For the first time since 2006, no storm brought hurricane force winds to the United States..." ~Wikipedia
"...she telephoned a psychic."
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Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn 1987 Part 1

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oh come on, that'll just make the kid want to watch it even more. If you want the kids to not watch it you'd better say THIS FILM IS OLD, BORING AND REALLY REALLY LONG
they decided not to use the sled for their vanity plate since they didn't want to give out spoilers
wait isn't that a copy of The Monster Book of Monsters?
OOO WAH WAH
and by "Evil worlds beyond" we mean Halloween Town
so after the last episode of Excel Saga then
because they couldn't find a pen or a pencil
some say it was sold on E-Bay
A MICHELANGELO FILM
ELECTRIC BOOGALOO
"Say, weren't there some people with us?"
"What do you mean?"
"You know, some freinds, your sister."
"Nope, no idea what you're talking about."
"It's only a model."
"Shh!"
"A magnifying glass necklace, just what I always wanted."
"Though I'd be much happier if you gave me your Pikachu!"
Raimi: "What did you say about my car?"
"No I'm not."
"Your mission, should you chose to accept it..."
meanwhile, in an Indiana Jones film...
Wait, at the start you said it was called Necronomicon Ex- Mortis
The sky will be darkened by the wings of many bats. The fallen people will invoke the name of the undead king. When the clock strikes the hour of the beast, it will reveal its true form as the beast. Angels will shoot arrows of Hope and Light at the loved ones of those they had been sent to protect. And a miracle will happen. Please always recycle.
Ugliest. Book cover. Ever.
"I'm only reciting the passages from some evil book, what's the worst that could happen?"
"HERE'S CAMERAMAN!"
"HELP, I'M BEING ATTACKED BY A CAMERAMAN!"
"Oh no, someone broke my favourite window!"
"Boo!"
If you can keep you're head while all around you are losing they's, then why not treat yourself ot one of my exceedingly good cakes!
"I'm gonna have a hard time explaning this to her parents, 'Hey Mr and Mrs Linda's Parents, sorry you're duaghter hasn't come home, she got possessed by an evil book so I had to decapitate her and bury her in the woods!"
"Take that ground!"
the cameraman seems to have gotten lost
"I hated that door anyway!"
"HELP, THIS CAMERAMAN IS DOING STRANGE THINGS TO ME!"
"Ow my tree!"
"Ow my puddle!"
Wow, that must be one really polluted puddle!
The fog is called home by its parents
"KAHN!"
"AHHH, I just dreamt I was in Kansas!"
you know what, these wood are quite pretty in daylight
wow what a big sun!


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Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Stoppit And Tidyup - Episode 1 - Beequiet And Beehave

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This music was made by simply recording a fight the composer had with the producer
"Beer"
"No thanks."
"Hell no!"
"Why? Where are we going?"
of course if this show had been made these days he'd probably be holding a DS
Not now is a nickname, his real name is Bernard
is there a character called DontMakeBadJokes?
the cousin Mr Tickle doesn't talk about
AHHH!! IT'S THE BIG RED THING FROM TRAP DOOR, RUN!
Which borders with Telletuby Land and Fimble Valley
"Frogs!"
"Cat"
"Fudge"
"PANTS!"
"F*CK!!!"
well that's what you get for having a thatched roof
"Burp."
"Hello butterfly."
"Hair"
"Ow"
"What the hell's going on here then?"
"Oooo, free beer!"
"OW, WHO THE F***ING HELL THREW THAT?"
"SUCCESS!"
"YAY!"
So now that he's found the giant wig he can get on with finding his roof!
"Pink"
"Revenge motherf****er, REVENGE!"
"Cr*p!"
"NO NOT THE BEES, NOT THE BEES!"
he also get STDs but we won't talk about that
"Fun"
it was at this point that Tidyup realised that he suffered from vertigo
"Curses, foiled again!"
"Happy."
"Pies"
"Two can play at that game you b*stard!"
"DOOOOOOOOOM!"
"Victory is mine."
"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
ck"
"Tuesday"
"You'll pay for this you ar*ehole."
"Jam"
"Well, it at least it can't get any worse."
"NERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRD!"
Imagine if Terry had taken the same approach to this show as he did to his Eurovision commentary




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