The New Lloyd Thaxton Show

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The original Lloyd Thaxton was a retired Grand Rapids machinist who would stand in a long raincoat and leer at the camera for an hour a day. His program ran from 1952-1960.

Back when you had to be drunk to work as a television announcer.

"With a sound as gay as their sportcoats!"

*crowd cheers*

The escalation in Vietnam?

"And other pop culture cliché crap! DAMMIT, JACK, WHERE'D YOU-? Oh, it's in my hand..."

Thank god we invented teen sex.

What's Dorothy doing back there? The Funky Mashed Chicken Potato?

This is what the hep crowd would be doing on a Friday night if Strom Thurmond had won the Presidency.

Where?

That's Lake Michigan.

Well, there are a few.

I thought you said there wasn't a cloud in the sky.

*puff puff*
.oO(Two more verses! I can make it!)

The abandoned mortuary?

Maybe the old vomit factory?

Oh! The weird church on the dump road, in that trailer.

Over... over here now, dude.

Over... over here now, dude.

Hello?

.oO(It can't be my 3-pack-a-day habit, why am I so beat?)

Gomez Adams: Bandleader

The grand tradition of American songs that use up their material in 90 seconds but just keep f*cking going...

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Thinking about Rayon dress pants on a bicycle seat, I hope this guy didn't have balls when he started doing this.

Dorothy, what are you doing?

Wait, he's not really singing!

"WE'RE EASILY ENTERTAINED!"

"Anyone got some Gold Bond?"

"...he'll never work in this business again."

That's the choke.

↑ 
Christian Bale,
Nixon Youth

"Ixnay on your ex-life-say."

"David, I understand you're warehoused at the vocational school..."

"Michelle, you're not any part negro are you? It doesn't work on negros."

"The same."

*jing jing!*

Do the faggoty little ribbons come with it?

"--and fight."

Wait, what?

Is this Britain during the rationing?

"But none for you, Dorothy -- I said 'dancers.'"

"CANNED GOODS!"

And the teenagers rebel by going away.

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