Friday, March 19, 2010

Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn 1987 Part 6

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"We're surrounded by sound effects!"
"Well that was weird!"
"Oh that's where my dad kept his pet Thunderstorm."
"That way, no of us will die alone."
"And you know what they say, 'curiosity killed Bruce Campbell'!"
"SCROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGE!!!"
"It turned me into a special effect!"
"So, we get rid of the problem by doing the same thing that started all this, yeah that seems like a smart move."
"Well I'm going to be having nightmares about that for the rest of my life."
"Hi, remember me?"
"Screw this Raimi, I'm out of here!"
"Grr I'm Cherrymon Grr!
the trees wanted to do the hugging for once
"Oh this is such a drag."
"Actually, this is kinda fun, WEEEEEEEEEE!"
"Ow...ow...ow...ow..."
"The cameraman has her now."
"It's a bit of foreshadowing."
"So we can eat it, the flesh of a dark spirit is actually very tasy."
"Where it will then re-appear in Cardiff where it will be Torchwood's problem."
"I've killed Sam Raimi and taken his place."
"That's not what was in the script!"
"The zombie in the cellar can use them as toilet paper."


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Friday, March 12, 2010

Romeo and Juliet: Sealed With a Kiss Part 3

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"No fair, Romeo can't score before I do!"
If we can get Shakespeare to roll fast enough in his grave we'll solve the energy crisis.
"I'm going to ask Benvolio to marry me!"
"Hey, the Aurora Disco Ball is out..."
"Allegra..."
Are ipecacs conductive to romance?
He makes William Shatner sound like Andrea Bocelli.
When you find a tune, let us know.
"Wanna play Chutes and Ladders with me?"
Whoa, now I know why they call it "scat."
Will you stop that? I'm the one riffing this movie!
"Sure, but you have to buy me dinner first..."
DUN DUN DUN!
"And that's MY Fisherman's Feast platter combo!"
Sorry, he's tuned out your voice in self-defense.
Is he singing or suffering intestinal distress?
"Sorry, seafood makes me gassy."
"Bad case of the runs!"
"Can we get our parking validated?"
"YOU ATE THE LAST CRAB CAKE!"
"Well, doctor says I should be eating more fiber..."
"Dammit!"
JUST LEAVE ALREADY!
They're never getting their security deposit back now.
Not exactly "If I profane with my unworthy hand..." is it?
.oO(Please let that be the last time.)
This set was borrowed from the all-otter version of HMS Pinafore.
Oh, it's like Wile E. Coyote, only not funny.
That's not what they mean by "swingers"...
"Mmm, tastes like chicken."
That's a coincidence, I'm about to lose my lunch too.
"That insensitive asshole! He was performing in whiteface!"
Cabot? Cabot?
Chief?
McCloud!
"If it'll make you feel better, you can roll around in brown sand and crash our party next time..."
"Why do they call it jumbo shrimp, anyway?"
"Daaa, Ah kan' brff!"
Yeah right, and just how do they expect to find a photographer on such short notice?
Meanwhile, in a bottle of Pepsi...
"I love the ones where someone almost gets eaten!"
"Sorry, I was too busy sliding down his esophagus to notice..."
He ditched them? Color me shocked.
Wow, I mean I always kind of suspected Mercutio was a little, you know, but in a kid's movie?
"He jests at scars that never felt mastication."
Wherefore art thou so ignorant of grammar?
o/...Bom-chikka-wow-wow...o/
Wet Oyster would be a good name for a band.
Please tell me we won't have to sit through his rendition of the Queen Mab speech.
Hey, there's an anamorphic moon tonight.
Okay, the music can be sweet or intense, but not both. Make up your mind.
"But soft, what light through yon bonsai tree breaks...?"
"At least I think it is; my night vision's not that good."
.oO(Dammit, he's stalking me now...)
How can you tell if he's surprised? His eyes are always like that.
Oh come on, you couldn't get THIS line right?
"Whoops, I need a breath mint!"
How can she make enemies? She's not old enough to cross the street by herself yet!
Sadly interracial seal marriage is still frowned upon in some areas...
Well, various objects react to the visible spectrum of light in differing degrees and manners, resulting in...
"And would still stink after three days."
"If only they made Grecian Formula for seals!"
"And we could play house in the sandbox at recess!"
"Sweet! I'm gonna get laid tonight!"
"Can you be transparent?"
"I have poor verbal language skills."
"Damn, and me without my pepper spray."
"And I like it that way."
"I've heard it's not easy, but whatevs..."
Whoops, he's allergic to shellfish.
.oO(Just humor him, then RUN!)
Ha-ha, "star-crossed," yes you're very clever, MOVING ON THEN....
Evangeline?
Ah, the love theme from "Barney."
Dammit, even seals are using AutoTune now...
The moon makes for a good follow spot.
Music composed by a five-year-old making up a song as she plays.
Shakespeare gives you WINGS!!
This is the most tedious love ballad I've ever heard, and I've heard "I Believe My Heart"...
What I wouldn't give for a supernova right now.
"It's a lovely night; we should get a great view of Tom Baker's face..."
I can only imagine she's smiling because she's deaf in that ear.
"Dude, I am so high right now..."
Overly Literal Theater presents "Dancing With the Stars."
Ah, the glorious Disney Princess Nebula!
Three verses in, and I still have no idea what the melody is.
"Ow, ow, hot star, hot!"
Is this the one where he ends up smothering her with a pillow?
No? Shoot.
Itchy's virtual porn has really diminished in quality...
"I suspect my daughter's involved in a bad musical sequence somewhere!"
Was I hallucinating, or did a Dr. Seuss character just pop up in front of us then pass out drunk?
"Wewerejuststudying!"
"Sam Wainwright's on the phone!"
I wouldn't worry about it; Lord Capulet has clearly not mastered the ability of looking up yet.
"I think we should see other seals."
What is the age of consent in their area? Four?
"Being proposed to, one second!"
Two proposals in one night...is she the only girl seal around these parts?
"Bring a dish for the potluck."
"But I'm Jewish!"
"It's ten minutes past eight young lady, get down here at once!"
Especially if you have another annoying duet.
Parton is such sweet sorrow? So she's a country fan, I guess...
Guh-huh, love pretty...
Ah, the sacred seal mating ritual of blowing fairies at each other.
He's stoned! That explains so much.
And he falls to his death, the end.
...Or not. Damn.
Free Romeo
"Oh, Creepy Cute Goldfish, I'm so happy!"
Nothing makes for good animation like seal ass.


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