"On a quiet little street, in a town not unlike this one..."
As the Old Guy
As His Daughter
As the "Help"
The Sun Myung Moon Story
Drop it like it's hot.
Ball-less?
.
o
O (My god, how many of these things are going to fit in her ear?!)
"We haven't wife-swapped in YEARS..."
Someone skipped a line.
"...because you're wanted felons..."
Female character acting has come a long way.
Female character acting has come a long way.
Actually, no. Judging by the current crop of sitcoms. No. No it hasn't.
"...I just don't care."
"The drag club he liked, but that was his idea."
The classic nervous, When-is-this-going-to-get-funny? laugh.
"Or at least being chased by it."
Piglet. Tigger. Eeyore, even!
"...a letter of marque for the Jim Hutchens Gang."
"...the wacky music suggests something stupid is about to happen."
"This really isn't our class of people."
"It might go off!"
"...visiting Grandma."
It's a BANJO. That's reason enough.
A .30 calibur M1 rifle -- WHAT DO YOU THINK IT IS!?
Well, he was your homeroom teacher.
BURN!
"Psst! Zuul? I got your money."
A waffle cone and a pack of ham?
"You were a mistake with the milkman. What's the matter -- did I say something wrong!?"
MERKLE! MERKLE! MERKLE!
"...as long as they don't sleep in the same bed."
"I mean, he'll hit you and stuff..."
"It's a metaphor. Christ, how much thalidomide was I taking when I squirted you out?
"He's swinging his belt. Is that bad?"
"But I thought I was your sister."
"NOT THAT ONE!"
"...he does get violent when he's drunk."
Back then, feminism consisted of gently suggesting a salad dressing.
"Oh Mum! I've never ridden in an ambulance before."
YOU CALLED HIM BY THE WRONG NAME! RUN!
*hyperventilates*
"The Indochina thing will be handled shortly, Cuba and the Suez Canal are quiet, and that b-actor on 'General Electric Theater' has finally stopped making movies. What could possibly go wrong?"
"No hit, Jim!"
"I TOLD YOU TO CALL ME DADDY!"
"Those squirrels can be drowned in the morning."
"Maybe after his fourth bourbon."
And comedy is narrowly averted.
"My son's an imbecile."
"It means one drunken U.S.O. afterparty and she's got you for 18 f***ing years, kid."
"Mind, son. Not naughty bits."
"Is that different?"
"For them, yes."
"Like any hint of inner life or personality. Don't worry, I'll crush them."
(Blowjob)
Look, the return in and of itself is not comedy.
Look, we know it's Beefeater.
"Well, Bud said his music teacher was over all afternoon..."
Something tells me that "old one of his" is long past rescuing.
↑
WARMING UP HER WRIST
"Who told the imbecile he could speak?"
More than we can say for your acting.
"...b*tch."
ZIPPER
↓
"If we could publicly acknowledge homosexuality yet, I'd call him all sorts of things."
Mr. Ed has horse sense, after all.
Get what?
HANDJOB
↓
WHAT IS?
"You should see the tracks on Mertyl's duvet!"
"Shnookums, I told you never to call me here."
IMDB Goofs for "Father Knows Best" (1954)
• Anachronisms: Ed drives a 2010 Nissan Leaf EV.
"Time for the belt."
"How do you arrange a wife-swap?"
"I mean, how bad can modern dance be?"
You'd better fiddle with more buttons than that, dear.
Phylicia Rashad would've bitchslapped him and dragged his ass to the car.
"All the kids are getting tattoos."
"Kids! Call Dr. Werther. Your mom's about to fall down the stairs."
"Right about you, anyway."
(White Male White Lie #1)
(White Male White Lie #1)
(White Male White Lie #2)
"On a quiet little street, in a town not unlike this one..."
