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"Eh, Sid, when's the movie gonna be done, huh?"
Girls have cooties!
Special thanks to Jack Chick, Jerry Falwell, and the Westboro Baptist Church.
Well, this sounds like a nice cheerful cautionary tale!
Look, they have shooters over there!
I don't really have a jurisdiction; I'm something of a freelancer.
Oooh, THE Talk...
What, waiting to get run over?
Especially if you're an axe murderer.
Like Transformers.
"I've had too much exercise today, I'd rather wind up molested and dead."
It's the NAMBLA Express, right on schedule!
"Jimmy, do you like movies about gladiators?"
"Would you consider yourself a pitcher or a catcher, Jimmy?"
Always be suspicious of friendly, charming people.
Well, no wonder--he hitched a ride from John Waters!
Regular routes to and from places are also suspicious.
"Jimmy, who was that?" "Oh, just a nice man who gave me a ride and asked me to find candy in his pants." "Oh, that's nice, dear, now wash up for dinner..."
"That's strange, ever since that guy gave me a ride home I have the desire to go into hairdressing or interior design..."
In his European car.
Fops? Do you get a lace handkerchief with each order?
And a footlong hotdog.
"There once was a man from Nantucket..."
I don't think you're going to catch many fish in Central Park...
Jimmy said Ralph was a stupid name.
"I need to replace the shellac in my hair."
Phonographic pictures? What, does he get turned on by vinyl records?
"Wow, I didn't think that was anatomically possible."
He was a Communist.
Swine flu! RUN!!!!
Homosexuals always wear hospital scrubs when they go hunting.
Like this Putt-Putt off I-25.
But this was in Nevada, so that part's legal.
"Mom, Dad, I'm going away for the weekend and I'm not telling you where or who with." "Okay, have fun!"
"Oh no, I touched him, now I've got The Gay!"
Some score ESTJ on the Myers-Briggs.
Others just hang around on park benches all day like bums.
"Good thing Negros aren't allowed to play, otherwise we'd never get on a team!"
"You go on ahead, I've got a date with a missing persons report."
Besides, he could do that in the bathroom.
Do all sexual predators wear formal clothes to an abduction?
"I can drop you off on my way to conducting Verdi's Requium at the concert hall!"
Gay Men Can't Jump
"What was I thinking; I should have worn white tie for the abduction!"
A young Liberace at a turning point in his life.
IfyouknowwhatImean, heh heh heh...
Trust no one! Live in fear of your fellow man!
"Riding in the Shadow of Death," now showing at a driver's ed class near you.
And a package of Sixlets.
"Extree, extree, read all about it, Commie gays stalk clean-cut white boys! No hitch-hiker is safe!"
"Hey, did you see Lio this morning?"
"Hey, you kids wanna see my hamster do a neat trick?"
"Well, they looked pretty much like us..."
So this is basically "Darwin Awards: The Movie"...
"Let's see: BOYLV4EVR..."
Uwe Boll's "Paperboy: The Movie"
Me, I always wear stilettos when I'm gardening.
"Let's see, it's right...shoot, I tossed it on old man McKenzie's porch!"
A young Susan Boyle is concerned.
"My son was last seen driving off with a stranger...eh, it's probably nothing, but just to be safe..."
They pulled him over for driving while gay.
"Are you going to frisk me, officer? I think I deserve to be frisked..."
The Young Larry Craig Chronicles
Only homosexuals pee at the same time as young boys.
And that has made all the difference.
He's got a tympani in his shoes!
Stravinsky's "Rite of Pedophilia"
"Wait, kid, you dropped your locker key, I was just--oh, never mind."
Talking, laughing together, wrestling, getting hot and sweaty...
Or he was just being paranoid.
If you get molested and catch The Gay, it's your own damn fault.
If they're a parent or relative, anything goes!
Report any suspicious activity to the HUAC.
Then it's okay.
So, to review: hitch-hicking--okay, indifferent parenting--acceptable, homosexuality--OMGEVULPEDOS. Thank you.
Capped by TheDiva
YouTubeCapper.Blogspot.com
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