Porsche 911 GT2 v Corvette ZR-1

vD9AW-EB3vo

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So don't neglect your blog!
Don't avoid your blog!
You can disregard me if you please
But don't ignore your blog!

An aging douche in £60 pre-distressed designer jeans trying to look casual? Yeah, it does.

It was the talk of the cotillion.

"...laughed off the whole Sarah Palin thing..."

Zdar One?

How many odd foot of grunt is that?

"We'll be testing them to see which one carries more groceries."

And a better naughty 69.

And...

They both run out of gas.

What a clear day. You can nearly see Leeds a mile in the background.

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.oO(Can't believe that bitch left me. Who does she think she is? She'll pay. Sooner or later, they all pay.)

My uncle always said that Corvettes tend to pixellate at high speeds.

You guys do know you can do a freeze-frame without physically pausing the tape in the camera, right?

"I think about my ex-wife."

Every time you take a what?

(The audio recording quality is actually fine here. No known sound codec can reproduce this much Cockney.)

"He's not bloody Roy!"

"I'm sick now."

"And now he's going to Vonage."

Please stop mentioning your Speedo.

*passes Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock in a bus*

1.5 Miles

54.45sec     55.32sec
@174.11mph     @176.82mph

Runway Barrier

62.52sec     62.52sec
@0mph     @0mph

"Proving once again how large my penis is."

.oO(Don't mention hitting his cat)

"I'll make you a deal, mate... See, if you're in the market, mate, I know a bloke who knows a bloke, see..."

Huh?

"You'll smell better."

Douchrace 2000: The Reckoning

After being flown back to the other end of the runway on a specially modified Boeing 747...

*plays with the radio*

"...not really love."

Turbo Lad! Defender of British youth the world over!

Wait, he's sitting on the right! They must have flipped the footage in post to make the other guy look faster.

You can do it, Speed Racer!

"There goes Buckaroo Bonzai on my left..."

We call it the "get down part."

The stupider the thing is, the more money people will spend on it?

"...Neither of us got laid today, so that is a draw. I did, however, jizz, in my pants."

T.M.I. dude.

You'd be sitting in traffic reading the ultimate frisbee bumper stickers on the back of a Geo.

"That way, both of our sponsors, will remain happy."

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