Sunday, July 26, 2009

Conspiracy Theory: Did We Land on the Moon? Part 1

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Manbags
In fact, they're mostly mistaken assumptions and half-assed guilt by association.
You are all individuals.
Why doesn't Fox News carry that disclaimer anymore?
IN A WORLD where rockets are shot into space...
The final episode of M*A*S*H*?
Okay. I don't believe it.
"The whole relationship, just the failed gamble of two people desperate not to be seen alone."
Paper or plastic?
Or whatever else we can find.
"The eagle is now picking up a tortoise to drop on that rock over there..."
I'm glad they took the time to interview a guy who thinks he knows everything but doesn't.
Tony Nelson?
Are you trying to tell me that Bush was actually pretending to be a complete idiot?
YOU MAKE THE CALL
[Insert melodrama here]
I hope this ends with Buzz Aldrin punching everyone involved in the face.
"Yeah, it's tied."
And promptly died of suffocation.
"Umm...what comes after nine?"
"I can't get 'Fly Me to the Moon' out of my head, over..."
Wow, it's so vaguely sexual...
Blasted in his face?
With no toilet stops on the way.
"Got really drunk and did some things they never spoke of again..."
"Read a few chapters of The Fountainhead..."
The ladies toilets? A theater showing Mamma Mia?
"No, your other right..."
("Sh***ing Our Pants Base" didn't quite have the same ring to it.)
Yes?
David Attenborough: "And here we see a footprint of the rare and probably endangered Neilius Armstrongius..."
Most of us don't wear tinfoil hats and build survival shelters under our garden sheds.
Now... what were they again?
"Crap, line?"
No, that wasn't it...
...Leap of faith, leap of faith...
So he knows everything there is to know about astronomy and space travel.
"For instance, we couldn't decide what colour we wanted the rockets to be."
Michael Bay's Apollo 13
Sikh the Truth
^
|
sane
...gave him a tingly feeling.
What channel was he watching?
"I mean, where was all the green cheese?"
"A cat chasing a mouse, and getting beaten up again and again? Preposterous!"

It was Fusie the Star Sprite!

"NOOOOO stars!" *irritating whistle*

It's almost like THE SUN WAS SHINING, you twits!
Waving... wobbling... whatever.
DUN DUN DUN!!!
Okay we admit it, we actually sent a woman!
And quite rightly, too.
"Morons, we call them."
"WE LOVE YOU, FLOCK OF SEAGULLS!"
These people will be found and eliminated.
Umm, they're paranoid and delusional?
Please, our government can't keep the lid on a couple waterboardings, let alone something like this...
"Beep beep! Woo! Aliens are coming, commander! They'll never take us alive, spaceman!"
Until he was fired for being mad as pants.
Please say you're only telling the documentary makers this because it's what they want to hear and you don't believe a word of what you're saying...
"...a ten billion dollar 'NEENER NEENER' at the Reds?"
In order to heal.
To the TARDIS!
People should never assume anything.
"They defined that as killing us all."
The Beanie Baby craze?
"...an America already terrified by the introduction of the Edsel."
Sputnik: Russian for "Daddy Long-Legs"
It carried "NU - C L E - AR" bombs. Get it right, people.
"But this footage of a large explosion says otherwise..."
Crap, are we doing the Watchmen trailer again?
Did these guys know what they were being interviewed for?
These people had been reading too much science-fiction.
Ha-ha, just a little joke from me, the narrator...
"Never tell me the odds!"

You're just making these numbers up as you go along, right?

"...Point zero, zero quillion, to the negative power of, like, infinity..."
Stupid rocket, you're not supposed to explode until you get to Russia!
Please. Tell.
"And the leprechauns never lie to me."
"...where did we get all the receipts?"
Why, through the magic of CGI, of course!
Since there's no way we can pretend it didn't actually happen.
It sent them to Pluto. CHEW ON THAT, CONSPIRACY PUSSIES!
"Hey Neil, if you don't come back can I have your stereo?"
Passing the time with a few games of charades and Zero-G Scrabble.
"...God created reality television, and seeing what He had done sealed it away in the dark places until the coming of the Antitaste."
"...and then Atlantis stole the missing Zapruder footage from the Reptoids."
Scorpio Zero, Capricorn leads the series by two.
So it MUST be true!
"Switch it to the Knicks game!"
"But we're planting an American flag anyway."
Which you already said was filmed AFTER the moon landing! Is NASA hiding a time machine too?
But it isn't.
Producer:
1. Gringo Wedding (2006) (executive producer)
2. Barbarosa (1982) (producer)
3. Hanover Street (1979) (producer)
4. Capricorn One (1978) (producer)
5. Extreme Close-Up (1973) (producer)

Self:
1. Conspiracy Theory: Did We Land on the Moon? (2001) (TV) .... Himself
"I also believe Bigfoot knows where Hoffa's body is."
The pudding is solid?
So let me get this right, they're putting a later piece of fiction forward as evidence that the moon landings were faked?
"...none of us actually had sex..."
Oh please. You can't even make your toupee look convincing.
Tv monitors! It's true!
*klieg light falls on astronaut*

But they somehow forgot the stars. Remember that.

I think you've had enough...





Capped by KKDW, TheDiva and Space Toast
YouTubeCapper.Blogspot.com

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