Titanic: The Animated Movie (Part 1)

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A Three Tenors Production

Is there a big market for cartoons of great historical tragedies in Italy?

Coming Soon: Anne Frank's Wacky Holocaust Adveture!

MARCO!
COLUMBO!!

...the top shelf of the cupboard, next to the glass pitcher and Grandma's antique casserole dish.

It's pronounced "Jim" but his parents tried too hard to be creative.

Music from the Hallmark Easy Listening Collection

"Um, Mister Captain, could you maybe help us?"
"Shut up, you brats, now step on it! I want to be in New York by Friday!"

WHOOO! Party!

"Hey, I've got an idea, how about a round? I'll start: Row, row, row your boat..."

Mary Worth is concerned.

The Young Belle Chronicles

"Good idea dressing in drag to get on the lifeboat, Earl.."

Well, at least things are moving along; it took Cameron two and a half hours to get to this point.

"No, I'm too pretty to die!"

*sob* "Our 99 children, all gone!"

"I don't know why, but we seem to be going in circles..."

The lifeboat's all decorated for Christmas!

TIIIIMBEEEEEEEEEEER!!!

Reaction Shots: The Movie

Spring Break! WHOOO!

"Well, at least that bitch Cruella went down with the ship..."

"I am startled again!"

Well, not really titanic, I mean, it only has a population of half a million...

Previously on Lost...

Poirot's Zany Orient Express Voyage!

*gasp* "Why, that's me!"

Quite a coup getting Angela Lansbury to voice her.

Not so much a "wicked" stepfamily as a mildly annoying one.

"Just because I'm an orphan doesn't mean I'll never see my family again!"

Didn't Norman Osborne live there?

Perfect. I always say, "Every good animated film needs a shot of a seagull's ass."

Your Royal Caribbean vacation awaits!

What the--hey, that's HITLER!

"Wait, I didn't fasten my seatbeeeeeelt..."

Ha-ha, he has massive internal injuries and will die painfully!

Carol Channing!

Jasper and Horace have fallen on hard times.

Could you turn down the Cockney a click or two, please?

"Don't worry, I've got your head bustle!"

That is one tired cat; it must not be getting its twenty hours of sleep per day.

No, she dropped her Cracker Jack prize!

IRONY ALERT

Is that a hat or a circus tent?

Ah yes, of the L.L. Bean McFlannels...

Let's see, what other classic animated films can we rip off? Oh that's right, An American Tail!

"You're dead, box!"

"Nobody, nobody! Just your average, everyday clothes-wearing sentient mouse..."

Ah, I think I've found the Smarmy Rich Guy (TM)

What a lousy accent!

"Divine figoo?"

"Back off, buddy, she's my girl!"

"A cheap necklace dropped on the dirty wharf--that's the PERFECT present for a lady!"

"After all, no one's slick as me."

"Remember, it's very important being you!"

"Please, allow my bland handsomeness to assist you."

"Don't worry about me, I'll just carry these very heavy suitcases all the way to my cabin myself with my arthritic limbs..."

"The bodies of those that wronged me."

"You know, on the off chance we hit an iceberg and sink, or something."

Are there very many hillbilly squirrels in England?

"Scuse me, I need this for my embroidery..."

I didn't know Kehaar and Jeremy the Crow had a love child...

"We're the officially designated offensive cultural stereotypes!"

Wicket bongos?

"No relation to Sherlock Holmes, really."

PLOT POINT ALERT

"So, how many child laborers did you kill last year?"

"NOBODY will recognize me for a detective in THIS get-up!"

"Even though everybody on deck just saw me run to catch the boat."

Chief Officer Jonathan Frakes

"Check it out, I just grew three feet running up here!"

o/...You load sixteen tons, whaddya get?...o/

"Increase the stock animation! Full speed ahead!"

"Buh-bye! Have fun storming the Atlantic!"

Tighten your corsets until they snap?

"Pull her at once"?

When you get near some coherent dialogue, let us know.

Her butt's in backwards!

"Hi, my name is Bilbo and I'll be your steward for this voyage..."

"She's the one that looks like a failed Disney Princess."

"No, the plot device is missing!"

"You put them on top of the Ginsu knives again!"

Wow, great reverb in that cabin...

"My fairy godmother will help me."

Granny traded in Sylvester and Tweety for a couple urchins!

"Not getting my tail amputated, I hope..."

Great, now every rat in the hold is going to be swarming their cabin...

If she starts singing to him, I'm quitting.

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