Robin Hood: The Deserted Castle

9w0rdlR9A4k

You need Flash player 8+ and JavaScript enabled to view this video.

"You're aiming for the apple, right?"

"Sure, yeah. Whatever."

And To
Awkward Phrasings

(Don't worry -- that won't make sense after the episode either.)

.oO(Crap, I forgot my horse lock. Maybe I can just lean it against the rail and fake it.)

*THWACK!*

"Yes, have you seen not you?"

"I'm glad to see when any thought makes you unhappy."

"Boink? I hope I hope I hope..."

Reply to: comm-4y6hb-127@craigslist.org
Date: 1184-07-14, 8:16PM GMT

FLASHMOB: LOLX0Rz lets all show up at 10 on Fri dressed as Snow White!!!!!! Itll be ****AWESOM*******!!

• Location: Sherwood Forest
• It be NOT ok to contact this postere with Services or other Fiduciary Matteres

"So, what, a squirrel got in your barn again, didn't it? I am so over this couple sh*t..."

Famous for its smokestacks.

"You're leading me off to my death, aren't you?"

"Not telling."

"Is this about that comment last week?"

"Maaaaaaaaaaybe."

"Look, I said the dress made you look fat; I didn't say you looked fat."

Your grandmother has this plate.

"So many useless old things, left to the ravages of time."

"Such a shame, this castle."

"What? Sorry, I was just thinking about 'Boston Legal.'"

He's got that classically dubious look of a boyfriend being told "Come see something wonderful!"

"Wait for the pan to finish."

Benny Goodman!

Careful, she can move in any direction.

"I thought she was just being a bitch."

"I'm sure no one will notice I've gone."

"NOT YOU, DINGBAT!"

The "Duke of Bedroom Your"?

A secret, passionate, romantic meeting.

"You get a biscuit."

Percocet?

"Excellent! I'll instruct my men to begins slaughtering Jews immediately."

Plan A: Just shooting them.

Were there many Jawas left in England by the late 13th Century?

"Though I do enjoy a good rogering."

"Tambourine?"

"Quietly."

BSG is done. Get over it.

"It's pointy!"

"Especially from three feet away."

"You mean my love glove?"

*cough* "What up, niggas? Me and my homies jus' chilling. What up wid j'all?"

Doesn't it take a minimum of two fingers to draw an arrow?

"Jesus, Todd! Discretion? Ever heard of it?"

The French are surrendering in fine form today.

"As you can tell by our accents!"

"We go freebooter here, if you know what I mean."

Candy?

Little John: The pilfering perv

Winged = Probably Killed

Asshole dogs?

"I had to sharpen my beard."

"Arrow through the gall bladder" being a rather difficult phrase to rhyme, I can understand why this particular incident never made it into the ballads.

Where the Redfern Goes

Are you disgraced?

"...shaving..."

*wets his lips*

"Meanwhile I urge you not to use the sense that god gave geese..."

"Indeed, he'll probably develop peritonitis, go into hypovolemic shock and die painfully within days."

Robin Hood's "merry" men

"Is there a good mechanic you can recommend?"

"More of a hostel, actually..."

"Don't worry -- the CCTV evidence is damning."

Speedy Justice Delivery!

"Too bad our horse budget's run out."

"Hey, quit getting off on this back there!"

Later, at the Prancing Louse Inn...

Oh, I see -- one of those "blue" boar inns.

"Wif! Ich am hoom!"

"And we take cheap comedy where we can find it."

But we haven't seen her bootie yet.

"What's this all about, Will?"

"Shhh! Shh."

In the days of theatre, being a pornstar was a very tiring business.

"Just until he dies of urinoma."

Cash, ass or grass.

.oO(What is that smell? Is someone roasting sheep testicles?)

.oO(They are! Magnifique!)

"They've nearly finished drowning."

"Oh!" *begins to strip*

Oysters? Ew.

"Nearly as desolate as your womb."

This is one of those inns that charges in 15 minute increments, isn't it?

"Hopefully before the fever takes you."

*picks up a pair of coconuts*

^            ^
|            |
(Speaking of which)

Mock turtleneck dresses never really caught on.

"My mother sent me to Waldorf school, I'll have you know!"

Why do they have mouse cursors on their chests?

"Was it Medusa?"

Oh it's on now.

That goes without saying.

"Anyway, I guess I'll just have a house salad."

Like a prolapse?

*begins to absently fondle candlestick*

"That's on the M1, right?"

The "Castle of the Roach"?

"Sheriff wants some alone time."

Did he just attempt a French accent? I can see why the director would have made him Costner it.

Yup. Rid-X time again.

"Forsooth! Welcome ye to Deserted Castle Burger. Be sure to ask for our Deserted Desserts menu."

XXIX. NO Freeman shall be taken or imprisoned, or be disseised of his Free

XXIX. NO Freeman shall be taken or imprisoned, or be disseised of his Freel

XXIX. NO Freeman shall be taken or imprisoned, or be disseised of his Freeh

XXIX. NO Freeman shall be taken or imprisoned, or be disseised of his Freeho

XXIX. NO Freeman shall be taken or imprisoned, or be disseised of his Freehol

XXIX. NO Freeman shall be taken or imprisoned, or be disseised of his Freehold

Robin Hood and His Useless Underlings

"Intern!"

"I founded the Ozark Mountain Daredevils!"

That must be one rusty 2x4.

Why the chem gloves?

"Sorry! The place is a mess. My brother crashed with us this week. Want to sit out at the gazebo?"

"Gesundheit!"

*rimshot

Midevil times: When everyone was blitzed and dehydrated 24/7, but it was better than drinking the water with the dead goat in it.

"Who's the rankest?"

*sluuuuuuuuuurp!*

"This is out of a box, isn't it?"

Ha ha! Oh the world was cheated the majesty of John Belushi playing Friar Tuck.

None for this kicky little woodwind ensemble??

"Sorry about all the panties..."

.oO(I still suspect nothing.)

"You idiot! That will abscess and lead to amputation!"

(Comedy)

Goes back to chopping trees, carrying lumber back to the keep, chopping trees, carrying lumber back to the keep, getting attacked by orcs, chopping trees...

Boltoned!

...are met here in secret with you.

[Improvise joke]

Minister plenipotentiary to Prince John...

Try Cantonese.

Has the back been redacted?

*floor collapses beneath one*

"A chunnel!"

You should have seen the mighty army he put in the field after taco night. Whew!

"A bear, two canoes..."

(I shouldn't have rounded off. I made it sound less plausible.)Oo.

"...with monkey power."

"...and we should race for a Covert Ops so we can build Ghosts."

Must be a footballer.

"Yes..."

*massive coronary*

(Crap, we didn't think of that.)Oo.

Duh.

"...the Eurosphere."

"The beach of course."

"Dover is so last year..."

You know,

There once was a young lady from Dover...

A whore of French interlopers?

Where can I get a whore of French interlopers?

"That old chestnut?"

Can... can we be allowed in on this joke? It sounds good.

Student Council sucks.

(Wit)

"A hippo?"

"Is that anatomically possible, even for Anna Pavlova?"

"But a life-sized butter statue?"

Tune in next week for more wacky antics with "The Molestaches."

*Clang!*
*Clang!*
*Clank!*
*Clank!*
*Clang!*
*Clang!*
*Clang!*

This week on "This Old Castle," freeman Thomas looks in on a dilapidated keep once owned by Prince Tyne the Finger Flayer.

"Mr Leach!"

"I mean I'll mince them, like meat. I realize that mincemeat hasn't been invented yet."

"That ought to satisfy the history buffs. Thanks Todd."

"BOTH OF YOU!"

Vague action sprints across the screen!

"Even the one about the badgers?"

"'Trial by a jury of his peers'? You idiots!"

Frenchman just don't understand how nice a foggy fortnight can be.

.oO(How... do I...?)

"Is that your hand?"

"I didn't say stop."

"God this makes my old loins steam..."

"But we only have three men, sir."

"I'll let the other two know."

Robin Albus Percival Wulfric Brian of Loxl

England: Where Dick is King

"Hey! Those placemats aren't free, you know."

"We've got him covered from three sides. Er, two sides just now."

"It really ties the neoclassical flourishes together."

In public?

Are they?

Backtrack?

"Mom! Stay out of this."

"I know that now because... um... because..."

French fries, Inspector Clouseau movies...

"Still, better than your friend who's gone gangrenous..."

"And into my drafty old castle."

Don't talk about the dauphins like that!

O.O

**

Rarely have I taken so little delight in a meal at the Diplomatic. From poor service to a drafty dining experience...

"Your permanent departure."

What happens when one of them needs to take a family/sick day?

"Do you want to get me written up?!"

"Call me Omar, your grace."

"Have you read this Geoffrey of Monmouth cat? Bitch must be tripping on something heavy. Merlin? Modredus? I mean, diz-am!"

"And I'm not even going to touch the one about the sheep entrails and the enema bag."

"Lets get a brewski."

Sloppy editorializing?

"Chatty old crone."

"BIG time."

.oO(Busted)

"Sir Elton John."

This is a desperate cry for help.

DJ Robin and the Hoods

"Look, I'm sorry I assasinated his third mistress. Will you just let it go?"

"That boy has fast hands."

Except childbirth, "frienemies," monthly vaginal bleeding, and the ever-present specter of rape.

"What did she say?"

"She said you're an asshole."

.oO(Thaaaat's it. Pussy whip him good.)

"R-Robin, actually..."

( ♫ Want to beeee the giiiiirl with the most cake...)Oo.

"Ow. Heels. Heels!"

The Greatest Show on Earth!

"Better get back to the torture chamber."

Boys Beware II: The Nonce Zero Chance

Good thing Bernadette didn't specify ellipses in her contract.

♫ Tolerated by the indifferent! ♫

Break it down!

Can you hire this theme song guy by the hour, when you're just out doing stuff?

They handled Ashley Hutchings?

...if often badly ♫

♫ With his box of men / ♫

*record scratching*

*beatboxing*

Capped by Space Toast
YouTubeCapper.Blogspot.com