Titanic: The Animated Movie (Part 6)

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A ship so nice, they sank it twice!

She's weeping lemonade!

Those aren't fingernails, they're claws!

Damn, she startles easy.

"Here you go, little Newsie."

"Oh my God, she's wearing an Orphan's Plot Trinket!"

"And the devil will drag you under by the sharp lapels of your checkered coat!"

"No, I use it to hide my stash."

"But I'll probably never see her again...so who are you?"

[M. Night Shyamalan] WHAT A TWIST!! [/M. Night Shyamalan]

"Er, I mean, 'Are you my mummy?'"

"We just didn't like you all that much."

"Even though you obviously had."

"I mean, why are my earrings hovering just below my ears?"

"What kind of a name is that?"

No, on the Edmund Fitzgerald--OF COURSE ON THE BLOODY TITANIC!!!

"So in a way, he's kind of like your brother--damn, you're a sick freak, kid!"

"So, whatever happened to Dad, anyway?"
"Who cares? You don't have his picture in your locket, do you?"
"Point taken."

"What are the odds of that?"

"Cool! Let's go poke it with a stick!"

"This lifeboat can only hold the six of us!"

A rather sensible one, actually.

"Who died and made you captain, anyway?"
"The captain."
"Oh yeah."

"Never mind, it's just Carrot Top. Move along."

"Just leave him to drown, I guess."

Yeah, I'm all for abandoning the annoying detective to the elements...

His leech fell off!

"You like me. You really like me."

Irritating to everybody.

"Uh, we changed our minds. Throw him back in the water."

Well, at least the cat has emergency rations...

How sad is it when you need the rats to save you from a shipwreck?

"You don't want them? Okay, back in my pants they go!"

"I know, I'll strangle him with this and steal his food!"

And the mouse throws the rope a mighty three inches!

"Um, how is this physically possible, anyway?"

"Good luck! Hope you're okay in the cold, unseaworthy Crock Pot!"

o/...daaaaa-DUN! daaaa-DUN! dun-dun-dun-dun...o/

Wow, good thing there were some dolphins vacationing in the North Atlantic, huh?

"We're saved! Dolphin steaks for all!"

"We're taking you to King Snorky!"

"Um, there were several hundred humans in the water, shouldn't we help them too?"
"Nah, they're fine."

"Water! Lots of it!"

"Whoops, my mistake, it's the dumb detective again."

He's drowning all over again!

"Hey look, a jellyfish!"

"I get seasick!"

"There's so much flotsam in the ocean..."

Yeah, you did a bang-up job with the jewel thieves...

Yes, pull him in!

"Hey, get your own toupee!"

"Um, is it okay if we leave the rest of him in?"

Geez, take a Midol already!

"Oh, so now it's MY fault we hit an iceberg, is it?...Seriously, could you tell me if it is my fault? The script's a little vague on that..."

Good thing his collagen kept him afloat...

"If I had a ruler, I'd smack you with it right now!"

Um, does anyone want to check him for a pulse, or...

"Woof! Woof!"

"Sorry, they've been rubber-cemented shut..."

Oh no, Kathy Griffin! I was better off dead!

"Is it me you're looking for?"

Is the rest of the movie going to take place in Limbo?

Geez, where's the snooty first officer shouting people down when you need him?

*hurl*
"Sorry, swallowed a lot of salt water while I was in the ocean..."

Did they lock up?

And they were rescued by...oh, let's say Moe.

To shoot the director.

Not really, no. Feel free to end!

The Board of Health is shutting us down on Tuesday.

And the cat and the chihuahua wound up in the daily special...

Actually the dogs did all the work and he took all the credit.

Which he bought for fifty cents in a pawn shop.

May the ghost of Telly Savalas never give you a moment's peace for this.

Wait, when did she get her cat back?

Did one of the Peanuts kids narrate this?

Because they...look, they just did, all right? Don't ask stupid questions.

Or scared shitless, it's hard to tell.

She can't believe this epilogue either.

Better than drooling with Bleak House, I guess.

In her bedroom.

Admit it, you just paired the characters off at random here, didn't you?

They must have had a hell of a time holding these poses for the photographer.

They already have grandkids? That was fast.

Actually she survived, they just couldn't stand her singing that damn song anymore.

Except for the few hundred people who died when the ship sank. Whoops, was I not supposed to mention them?

Is that a threat?

Boy, does it ever. Much like this song, really.

Oh Matt, look at what you did! Bad composer, BAD! No biscuit!

I can't imagine anyone wanting to take credit for these songs once, let alone twice...

Wha--?

Twenty minutes? Did they thank everyone in Italy?

Well, can't argue with that, really...

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