Christmas Shoes-New Song

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A tree in full leaf? Must be having Christmas in Australia this year...

That cymbal roll was legally required in all pop ballads from 1991 to 1996.

o/...You know it's true, everything I do, I do it for you...o/

Crap, Kevin Federline...

"I'm buying this shoe polish for my wife. I always splurge a little on Christmas..."

Well, it's your own damn fault for procrastinating on your shopping until the last minute. I mean, it's not like you didn't have advance notice...

.oO(Good, he's distracted. Now to pinch his wallet...)

Lace-up leather thigh boots with a 6" heel, to be exact.

Didn't Voldemort kill a unicorn somewhere around here?

Yeah, that kid's totally filthy...

*cha-click* "Give me all the money in the register, now!"

The Young Fourth Doctor Chronicles

"That is, I'm pretty sure she wears a 14 wide..."

"No, my shift ends in ten minutes; I'm just stalling..."

"...He said the store's closing in ten minutes and we've got tickets to The Nutcracker."

A rare photo of a Barenaked Ladies member in the wild.

SCROOOOOOOOOOOOOGE!!!!

I know the first thing I want to hear when I meet Jesus is "nice shoes."

The tinkly piano music is legally required in all Christmas pop ballads written after 1990.

"Sorry kid, you're twenty-three cents short. No present for cancer mom."

"Please sir, my dad lost his job and my sister died last year while selling matches and did I tell you about poor Tiny Tim?"

Yes, burn it! KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!

"Go home, kid. God isn't going to be looking at your mama's Reeboks."

"Her dying wish is to own a pair of Manolo Blahniks!"

"Okay, okay, here's a damn quarter. Now can we move the line along, please?"

.oO(Ha, sucker! My mom's dancing at the Diamond Cabaret right now!)

"Hey Dad, you were right! The mark fell for it hook, line, and sinker! Thank God for seasonal guilt!"

Does he live in A Christmas Story?

Home decorated by Cracker Barrel

Another tragic case of Ali McGraw's Disease.

Why is Mama dressed like an Amish woman?

Hey hey, no Michael Bolton-ing!

"Twice in the same night! This mall is full of suckers!"

"Hey, that little bastard stole my watch!"

Yeah, I remember in the Gospel of Matthew, the wise men brought gold, frankincense, myrrh, and shoes.

"Hey, there's a children's choir in the branches!"

This video powered by natural gas!

Hey Treebeard, give him a kick for me would ya?

I'll bet this song is in permanent rotation on Tom Batiuk's iPod.

Emily Dickinson?

"Well our insurance dropped us, we owe thousands of dollars in hospital bills, we've been living on cat food for three weeks, and I'm in terrible pain and will never walk again...but hey, it's the thought that counts, right?"

"You're a bit touched in the head, aren't you kid?"

"Don't worry son, we can return the shoes for store credit after Mommy kicks off."

"Here's your Christmas present: the swine flu that will soon kill me!"

Hopefully my wish will come true and the radio will stop playing this every twenty minutes.

Capped by TheCarolingDiva
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