Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Titanic: The Animated Movie (Part 5)

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"Her transistor needed replacing."
"It suits me, don't you think?"
"This is from a claw machine!"
Well, enough of that plot line; let's see what else is going on...
After hours at Taco John's.
Oh yeah baby, yeah, oh right there ooooooooh...
"Now, where did you last see them?"
"So, um, do you need help taking that dress off, or..."
"Phew, he's actually leaving!"
"It's almost like you're on this very ship with me even as I speak..."
"Next to Jello shots."
"She can suffer for me instead!"
Someone hit the romantic lead, he's stuck!
Have we set an ominous enough mood yet? Good.
Somewhere out here a polar bear is drinking a Coke.
Everyone must be watching Mr. Magic's show in the Centurion Lounge.
"It's a big black thing with stars and a moon in it..."
Oh yeah, I can see how he wouldn't have noticed that.
That's not an iceberg, it's the Matterhorn!
"Or just spin the wheel whichever way..."
"I love you Bob Hoskins!"
"I love you Christopher Eccleston!"
"Happy, happy--hwah?"
"Well, this is the last time I splurge for a balcony suite."
Great, there's a T-Rex outside too.
Oh no, the stock footage is taking on water!
"Starboard, starboard...is that left or right?"
"You too, Officer Hitler."
Etiquette regarding mourning dress was rather strict back then, but I'm pretty sure you didn't have to sleep in it...
"Aieee! Help! We're all gonna die!"
"Eh, it's probably nothing."
Great, so they'll be on deck in, oh, two hours...
Oh yeah, THAT will take care of it.
"OI!"
"Sorry, your accent's too impenetrable..."
That one part of the hull doesn't have a whole lot of integrity.
"What's going on? Does someone have an anachronistic musical number to help explain it?"
"Eh, don't worry about it, there's two thousand more where he came from."
Dammit, why do people insist on saving the annoying kid?
Eh, if they didn't have the sense to swim through the bars, they deserve to die.
How is his hat staying on?
"We're stuck in this shot!"
The cat's the better swimmer. That really is the most useless dog in the world.
The hull's been breached, what, sixteen times now?
"Shouldn't we, um, put people in them first?"
"They're lowering lifeboats with their MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINDS!
"Characters with speaking parts and children first!"
Geez, sorry I'm not saving my life fast enough."
"Aw Moooom, you never allow me to be recklessly materialistic!"
I always said, James Cameron never fully explored the slapstick potential of the Titanic disaster.
"Wow, my back feels great! This is better than chiropractics!"
"Ah-ha, soon her lunch will be MINE!"
Dammit, we're celebrating the Fourth of July NO MATTER WHAT!!
Our hero power walks to the rescue!
"What the--hey, that's the same staircase!"
Wal-Mart, Black Friday 1912
"If I don't reach the end of this stock footage soon, I'm doomed!"
They're pretty blase about this whole thing.
Walk in place to the lifeboats!
We're going to keep setting off this one flare until help arrives!
No wonder so many people died on the Titanic, it's taken them three tries to lower this one lifeboat!
"It's no use, we're not important enough to get a spot on the lifeboats..."
"I mean it, there's one of me and only several hundred of you!"
"And there's stock clips blocking the exits too!"
"This is a kid's movie, we're not allowed to die."
They hit an iceberg AND a time warp!
"Wait, how did I get back down here?"
"Don't loose hope! We will levitate to safety!"
Rosie O'Donnell?
"I'm not, I just don't want to go on emergency rations."
She's not worried; she has her own flotation device.
"And I'm French. That must count for something."
That's just what this movie needs--one more annoying selfish bastard.
"Last call? We haven't even been served drinks yet!"
Much like this movie.
"I'm a broad caricature too!"
"Sorry about the broken ankle, by the way."
Aw, it's like Ida and Isador Straus, only boring and laughable.
"We should reach the water sometime next week..."
"Damn, I'm a smug git."
I don't remember this verse of "Nearer My God to Thee"...
Oh God, it's starting over!
Did her voice actor quit mid-recording?
The running gag, ladies and gentlemen.
"Hey kid, we've got some candy in our pockets..."
"They're just working class, honey, ignore them."
Boy, this light comedy sure takes my mind off the fifteen hundred souls lost...
She's battling Our Lady of Soundtrack Sorrow for control of the music!
"We mean it, this is the absolutely final last call this time!"
"We'll never beat the Yale crew at this rate!"
"On the plus side, this is good for my abs..."
"Are you amused?"
"And Mary?"
"Yeah, everything's coming up roses right now, thanks..."
"Dammit, if only I could somehow break this thin pane of glass..."
I don't know if I'm more impressed by the fact they had safety glass in 1912 or that he's breaking it with a wicker chair...
o/...And I know only o-one song, so I'll sing it endlesslyyyyy....o/
Yes, we're still reacting!
"Oh, we're doomed. How gauche."
Last one to the lifeboats needs to turn out the lights!
The stock footage can't hold out much longer, Captain!
"Come on, I've had to load you people seven times already!"
"Yay, we won't be in the movie anymore!"
"Oh my stars!"
Shouldn't have built the ship on the San Andreas fault...
"Ow, dislocated my arm!"
"Hey kid, ever wanted to be a high diver?"
"Probation be damned, I'm going out happy!"
Did he just do Parkour?
o/...Contact, it's the moment, it's the reason that everything happens...o/
Wow, that was fast.
Hey, he came up with a different kid!
"I have no life vest and you're heavy and I'm tired and the water is freezing the blood in our veins as we speak, but we made it!"
"You can use him to pull the oars!"
"Allow me to levitate in the water as I hand him to you."
"Oh well, I tried."




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