Friday, February 18, 2011

The King and I, Part 3

lOMCReWUtLU
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You can tell they're meant to be; they look so awkward together...
.oO(Please Buddha let her stop singing...)
Hey, some things to throw at the producers!
Ewww, I need an adult!
Yeah, yeah, Dorky Buddha tries to hurt the kid but in backfires, he knocks more of his teeth out, blah blah blah, can't we just skip this part and say we did it?
*neck snaps*
Language!
Well, normally they wouldn't keep them loaded and unused for long periods of...oh, who cares, as long as you shoot the Ethnic Scrappy.
Um, you have a Scrabble tile stuck on your lip...
Oh, it's a copy of this movie.
What's the Siamese equivalent of the "wah-wah-waaaaah" trombone?
Suddenly I long for the quiet dignity of Adam Sandler.
"Get out of this movie now while you still can!"
Not the most well-known or beloved Sesame Street segment, to be sure...
"Well, there was that one time in Whitechapel..."
I KNEW he was evil!
The movie's just flailing at this point.
I don't suppose there's any chance all three of these characters will die in firey explosion, is there?
I C WHUT U DID THAR
Finally, they gave the slapstick act the gong!
"Good, now fetch my slippers."
"Don't fuckin' push it."
He's holding court in the Rockefeller Center lobby!
"Right next to my throw pillow!"
"It's not like I'm going to be won over by your unspeakably adorable brood..."
"Cue the soundtrack!"
*bites hand off*
.oO(Laughing? He's never done THAT before!)
"Observe my head pincushion!"
Do the Siamese just not turn around, ever?
.oO(The bastard just flipped me off!)
No. I'm not saying it. Too obvious.
Okay, time out--this movie has too many cute animal companions. You have to get rid of the monkey, the elephant, or Dorky Buddha.
A nervous cat and bare arms. Bad combination.
Let's see, King Mongkut had 82 children, so this scene will be over in, oh, another ten years or so...
I CAN HAZ BETTUR MOOVEE?
What? Chew-a-longhorn?
Dude, just walk! This number is long enough as it is.
"Ow, my knees!"
.oO(Oh, I can think of things I'd like to teach him...)
Mary Kay Letourneau and the King of Siam
"Big deal, he can't even wear a shirt properly..."
A young Oscar Wilde at a formative moment in his life.
"Lick my shoes!"
"Sorry, but Dad said if I appeared starved for attention and love it you would empathize with me..."
"Is this going to take much longer? I was going to hit the go-go bars tonight..."
Does anyone know what gender these kids are? Anyone?
"But Daddy...."
"You know the rules! I get first dibsies!"
Now is not the time for Heads-Up Seven-Up!
Ooh, excellent delivery, the sweepers should have no trouble getting her into a good position for the hammer...
"Too much cute...brain shutting down..."
"Well, you're all very sweet, but your dad's still a bald bastard. G'bye now!"


THE END
"You're lucky the inbreeding doesn't show..."
"You will all receive cookies, as promised."
"Sweet, fresh blood! Get the initiation paddle!"
"The king has so many, he won't mind if I eat a little one..."
"Ew, she got snot on my skirt!"
"Address it to my wife. Say I won't be coming home..."
"Of course I can't, I'm the goofy comic minion!"
He must have had that concealed in his back fat.
"Do you have Prince Albert in a can?"
Oh, don't you two start!
Okay, stop me if you've heard this one: why is an elephant like a writing desk?
Ah, so his secret ambition is to go into the piano industry!
"Little bastard can't even fly."
Whoa, sudden onset laryngitis!
What, were there no puppies for these guys to drown? Fresh out of kitten stew?
Nope, not convinced. Maybe you should have him drop kick a baby, that might make him look evil enough...
"And don't eat the envelope this time!"
"I'm going to tap dance!"
"RICKYYYYYYYY!!"
o/...Here's the only British song we knooow...o/
"So, did I tell you all about being a modern major-general yet?"
"I say, but we are very British, aren't we? Cherioo, pip-pip, and wot!"
"Don't ask me how it was delivered to a boat out on the ocean..."
No really, movie, I don't mind if you take your time with the plot. You just go right on ahead with your random comic bit.
These guys helped establish a globe-spanning empire?
"Dear Sir Edward, your hair looks ridiculous..."
"I want a rentboy and I want one now!"
"Well, it's a military ship under orders from Queen Victoria herself, but I'm sure she won't mind us starting a little bitty war without her go-ahead..."
Hey, and FTD Pick-Me-Up!
"So dish--is Prince Chunky-Monkey a good kisser?"
"It's not a ground-breaking denouncement of the evils of slavery penned by a woman, but it'll do..."
"I'm free to ignore local laws and customs any time I like!"
o/...Bangkok bridge is falling down...o/
"Ow, my appendix just ruptured!"
"We're going to visit the box factory!"
Ooooh, geography envy.
"Of course, we do control huge chunks of land on this and several other continents, so yeah, we pretty much pwn your asses."
"Sit down, Chewy Louie, before I smack you with a ruler. Unless, you know, you're into that sort of thing..."
Dude, the king was a Buddhist monk; wouldn't he know keeping his kids in the dark like this would backfire in the long run?


Capped by TheDiva
YouTubeCapper.Blogspot.com

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