March 19, 2010 - Rubi

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This translation is provided for the educational enrichment of the YouTube Captioning public regarding the unique cultural voice of Tagalog-language drama.

I'm afraid you're just not cut out to be a vet tech.

You can keep the scrubs, but please leave.

I've never said this after one class.

You faking it too?

No-

Come on! Doctor Teeth looks more like a pediatrician.

You're not a pedo, are you?

Because if you are, I've got a trunk full of items that might interest you...

Who are THEY to judge us?! Know what I mean?

Right?

I'm trying to catch the Phantom!

I'm sorry the... disease has only gotten worse.

I can tell.

With every minute that goes by, your son turns more and more into Jaden Smith.

Untalented. Yes.

Neve Campbell!

We've never met this Phantom. How can we be turning into "B" list celebrities?

They say he might be tainting drinks to terrorize people.

Seriously, though. Am I really starting to look like Robin Tunney?

Um...

Not... Who's Robin Tunney?

You know...

I do?

From The Craft?

Well! If it isn't the bitches of Eastwick.

I can't believe you're BOTH turning into cast members of The Craft.

Laaaaame!

Look! It's Danielle Panabaker and post-scrappy-cuteness Claire Danes.

It's better than being Neve Campbell and... oh wait, what was her name? She never did another film again.

Robin Tunney? Bitch is on "The Mentalist" these days, skank.

Oh, that's right! And The Zodiac, right?

Zodiac, with Jake Gyllenhaal and Robert Downey, Jr.?

No, The Zodiac, with Macaulay Culkin's kid brother.

But really, "Neve." How's it going? Thought of releasing an album since riding the Scream franchise into the ground?

...as in "GWARs Doug?" [GWAR-style scatting.]

They say it's reversible!

Get real! At least I caught someone no one's ever heard of. No one remembers Disney's Sky High.

Seriously. Kurt Russell in a big foam suit? You've got to rent it.

She probably thinks if they catch the Phantom they'll be able to reverse the effects.

Get used to it, honey. The blank. Test pattern. Stare. You're going to have it for a long time!

Everything all right?

Um... You got a huge dose of Ryan Seacrest, didn't you?

Whatever. It could have been Simon Cowell.

When you're bumping uglies tonight, it'll be like a porno VH1 special.

Sleep tight, kids.

I threw up a little just now.

Is it possible to wash my mind's eye out with bleach?

I am never going to eat again!

Bumping... ug-uglies...

"Come on, son."

"You can tell me."

I don't know how to explain this, doc.

The Phantom has gotten to each one of my friends... but not me.

Do you think you're feeling a sort of survivor's guilt?

You may just be so bland that it's not taking.

You know, I actually thought I was turning into Ricky Martin this weekend.

I went out and bought some Menudo tracksuits, came out on my blog...

"Maybe it will help..."

If we imagine there is no Phantom per se.

You look about as imposing as David Schwimmer...

"Just about." Why?

"And maybe..."

"This can help too."

"It will be our little secret, son."

You take this.

Essence of Neve Campbell? I can't accept this.

You'd look good as a stiff "B" actress.

Thanks. The Janet Reno never quite took.

It all...

It started out innocently enough.

A little essence of Tim Robbins here and there...

Bob Hoskins. I got hooked on Gerald McRaney.

Pretty soon everyone's doing it.

But not admitting it. Like listening to Boston.

Thanks for the David Schwimmer and the advice.

"I appreciate this conversation."

It may be Matt LeBlanc.

I can live with that.

I'm sorry.

All I could score you was Robin Tunney. She was on "Prison Break." Kind of.

Her hair didn't really fall out. It was a bald cap.

Driver?

Yo?

How good is this Mark Ericson guy?

If you can't be the real person you want to be

Why not be someone who looks like someone else?

They must be famous for a reason, not just by random chance...

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Meat Loaf - I Would Do Anything For Love

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This Really Has Nothing To Do With
The Video You're About To See.

But It Sounds Cool,
Doesn't It?

Incoherent action scene...yep, this is a Michael Bay project, all right.

Sounds like the Foley's skipping.

This is your last warning! Turn off the Pure Moods album and pull over immediately!

Isn't this excessive force for an overdue parking ticket?

Never let an eight-year-old with ADD edit your movie.

They chased him into the Plan Nine From Outer Space set!

"We have your playhouse surrounded! Come out with your hands up!"

"...or anyone."

"But I'm not going to the drugstore to get you tampons."

Anything except his nails, obviously.

Meat Loaf IS Grima Wormtonuge

He's being haunted by Rosario Dawson!

"...Jose."

"Angel? Spike? Anybody home?"

Would you stop singing?

"Who the hell puts a chandelier in a mausoleum, anyway?"

EDDIE!!!

See, this is why you call before dropping by the Phantom of the Opera's place.

Shire...Baggins...

"Those are the days I trust to Cialis."

He's spying on a perfume ad!

TV Tropes Demonstration Theater Presents: Stalking Is Love

"No, my clown white face!"

.oO(I'm being pursued by an antique jeweler!)

"I feel fresh!"

Bigfoot discovered Hot Topic.

Tom Cruise and Mia Sara have to be around here somewhere...

"I'm lost; these blue-filtered trees all look the same..."

Did a cat just sneeze, or was that just me?

"Mostly because I have to stay around to blow out all these damn candles."

"Sommelier, there's a girl in my Bordeaux..."

The mansion has its own backup chorus installed.

The video behind them has its brights on; that's so annoying...

"Oh, good one. What's next, 'I promise I'll respect you in the morning'?"

"And I can't pass this kidney stone either!"

So, what is the "that" which he would not do, anyway?
Hold her purse while she's in the fitting room?
Go to a movie based on a Nicholas Sparks novel?

"Mr. Rochester?"

Filmed live at Jean Cocteau's house.

Come in, pull up a...um, never mind.

Wow, Yankee Candle Company doesn't have this many candles.

He has varicose eyebrows.

Maybe the cops were pursuing him for violating the fire code.

I pray to the god of alcohol, sousaphones and showtunes, myself.

CAN I GET YOU ANYTHING? SOME CURRY?

And now it's a promotional video for a day spa...

I'M VERY VINDICTIVE

"I smell bacon!"

That's one way to wash a slip, I guess.

"Well, would you hold it down a bit? I'm trying to sleep!"

Freddy Krueger didn't want her.

"Whoops, you're not Johnathan Harker! Wrong bed!"

I guess he likes her because one of the things she'd do for love is a threesome.

"Aw come on, at least let me watch!"

"Five minutes counts as 'long,' right?"

She gets off by stroking her hair?

Singing or constipated? YOU make the call!

www.artnoveaulesbians.com

For the girl's sake, I hope "that" is post pictures of the orgy on Facebook.

CSI: Raven Hill

"Who am I kidding, I look like an undead Rosie O'Donnell!"

Why does he even have the mirrors around if they bother him so much?

This is what, 84 years bad luck?

"I'll go check to see if the chick is still writhing on the bed."

"Room service?"

"I'll try this room; the genies are hogging the bed in the other one."

It's a steampunk Viewmaster!

"Shinyyy..."

"Great, it's either the room with the lesbos or the flying bed. The Bed and Breakfast Association is getting a VERY stern letter..."

"I'm doing it, dear."

"Seriously, I'm scared of heights!"

Oh, they're in Dayton.

"But I don't do windows."

"Oh come on, I got you the hot chicks in the exotic jewelry, what more do you need?"

Ladies and gentlemen, CELINE DION!

"Like Branson?"

Detective Matt Frewer

So when cops enter your house, they make glass explode?

"Come on, they'll never think to look for us in the sewing room..."

Brain Guy would later be ashamed of his Goth phase.

"And I won't tell you that dress makes you look fat."

"I've played Oregon Trail."

So, this is just an extended cut of "Ring Around the Rosie"...

With Anthony Stewart Head as Samuel Gerard

"A chikpea?"

"Hold me, long-haired Kevin James..."

"You have broken the spell. I am Jack Black once more...."

He'll promise anything when he's drunk, too.

"My lips are chapped; got any Carmex?"

And she immediately pulls an Isadora Duncan.

If this was a Michael Bay video, where were the explosions?

Oh, so "that" is stop for directions.

MTV showing an actual music video? Shenanigans!

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Romeo and Juliet: Sealed With a Kiss Part 8

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Could someone turn off the Name of the Rose soundtrack?

"She looks so natural."

She's become Juliet the White!


Er, whiter, anyway...

Don't touch her, Romeo, she's radioactive.

.oO(I suppose we could do a sort of "Last Dance With Mary Jane" thing...)

Ewww, zombie breath!

"Anybody have an Altoid?"

"Thus, with a kiss, I'm high."

"Still, this isn't as bad as when Mercutio crashed Great-Uncle Vincento's funeral and tap-danced on the coffin..."

"There's still going to be a light lunch to follow, right?"

"Dammit, how many times am I going to have to mourn that kid?"

"Dogpile on the corpses!"

"You never were that bright."

Great, the movie's going supernova.

Personally, I think "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" is overused at funerals. I want them to play "The Grand Old Duke of York" at mine.

"Oh, I suppose everyone is going to blame ME for this now, right?"

"Broncos? Raiders?"

"You copied my mustache!"

"You got a 'my son!' to throw in here?"

"Well, hate, hormones, teen angst, and really bad communication. But mostly hate."

"And by 'we' I mean 'you'."

Well, that does explain the demon fish.

*both* "This is all your fault."

"Ew, and right on their kids' corpses, too!"

RICKYYYYY!!!

No, to really hammer home the tragedy you need a slide whistle.

.oO(This worked out pretty well. I should have helped Juliet fake her death years ago!)

Friar Laurence was right, we ARE being punished!

"Does this mean you want your laptop back?"

"Great, just when our day couldn't get any worse..."

"Yeah, it's a funeral. How would you like to be the guest of honor?"

"Geez, I go away for a few days and everybody commits suicide on me."

"Heh-heh, you get it? Dead? Ah, my comedic wit is wasted here..."

And another feud breaks out over who gets to disembowel Mercutio.

"Just keep playing dead, he'll go away soon enough!"

It's a Truffula tree!

So, Romeo and Juliet are dead, movie's over, right? Please?

A watched corpse never decomposes, you know.

"Aw man, I had this terrible dream that we were doing a bad remake of Romeo and Juliet and there was this evil demon fish and..."

"....ah, shit."

And somewhere, the spirit of Thomas Bowdler smiles with approval.

Maybe the tragedy is that Mercutio doesn't die...

"So THAT'S what kissing a girl looks like."

See? It can survive out of water; it's not a normal fish! It's a creature spawned from the pits of Hell sent to torment us!

At the reception, the crabs will be both the band and the main course!

"Stop it! Stop it! NO MORE BLOODY SINGING!"

.oO(This bites, everyone's forgotten me and I'm the friggin' villain!)

YAY!

.oO(I think I hear dessert calling...)

Dame Edna!

"Romeo, I am both grossed out and turned on right now."

The movie's just spinning its wheels now...

Remember kids, fat people are deserving of your ridicule and should only mate with their own kind.

Well, it still has most of Mercutio's dialogue beat.

"Let's go to that deserted island and bug Prospero."

And the next day they were run over by jet skis.

"I've got a sheath for your happy dagger right here, sweetheart."

For never was a tale more of woe/Than this of Evil Fish and damn Mercutio.

Wherefore art my gun?
(Crap, now they've got me doing it!)

Coming soon from Phil Nibbelink Productions: King Cobra Lear, the all-swine version of The Merchant of Venice, and Taming of the Shrew with actual shrews!

What a git.

Ew, Romeo and Juliet were siblings? Where was this produced, Alabama?

AAAAGH, THERE'S NO ESCAPE!!!

So did I. That was a great ten minutes, wasn't it?

Sorry, ran out of Monistat.

It is Prince of Darkness and Father of Lies, right?

Oh, I've got something you can kiss right here...

This space is for all the people who asked to have their names taken off the project.

I don't know if I'd call this music a "courtesy"...

The Music Bakery? Maybe after we go there we can visit the Cake Studio.

Chanelle "Number Five" Nibbelink

Phil "Nepotism" Nibbelink

We've desecrated everything we can, goodnight everybody!

That thing will haunt my nightmares for years to come.

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Romeo and Juliet: Sealed With a Kiss Part 7

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"It'll be a great April Fool's gag!"

"Trust me, nothing could POSSIBLY go wrong with this plan!"

"Ew, it's got floaty bits!"

"It's got hints of blackberry and prophetic visions, you'll love it!"

CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!

"Dude, I'm already getting high off the fumes!"

I think Phil Nibbelink may have a few issues with religion.

"Oh wait, that was my urine sample! Now where did I put the living death potion?"

What the--goddammit, don't tell me he survived!

"Reminds me of a lame joke, though..."

The ladies love a huge conch! (Sorry.)

The Lord of the Flies kids are going to need to borrow one of those.

And now, with the use of the Midsummer Night's Dream wedding march, this movie has officially shamed every single Shakespeare play.

"Lord Capulet, did you forget something?"
"What? Oh yeah, I'm supposed to escort the bride! My bad!"

*sigh* "He's as handsome as I dreamed him..."

"Yeah, yeah, make with the matrimony already."

"She's getting her flippers done for the occasion."

"Come on sweetheart, it's time for your sudden and completely undesired arranged marriage!"

"I mean it, you get married right now or no Playstation for a month!"

"She was like this when I found her, honest."

"Jin and Sun got killed off on Lost."

"Good news is, the limos you rented for the wedding can now be used for her funeral!"

"I didn't mean it about the Playstation!"

"Well, back to Match.com for me..."

"Does this mean there's not going to be cake?"

"Hey, this means I have a chance with Romeo!"

"Uh-oh, there may be one or two flaws in my overly convoluted plan..."

"She's not dead, she's pining for the fjords!"

This is why it's important to include your "in event of fake death" information in your living will.

"Eh, I'll just dump this anywhere..."

"Oh, if only otters could swim!"

Go after him? BRILLIANT!

"This isn't working! Oh, if only I could raise my voice to a decibel level that could be heard several yards away!"

"Eh, I tried."

"But nooo, I had to go into creepy voodoo potions instead!"

"Sorry, I skipped lunch today."

"Fish are friends, not food...you, on the other hand, are fair game."

Would you prefer a Jet instead?

"Oh, there's Romeo! How you doing, lad?"

Sweet, ol' Sharky's gonna score some tail!

"Which means we've already used it twice!"

Lampshading the lameness of your jokes does not make them any less lame.

So, "exile" means "a short swim from the beach."

"Come on, Romeo, I swam fifty yards to find you!"

"Did you bring me a latte?"

Wow, fifteen minutes and the isolation has already driven him mad.

"Well, she was rather peaceful last I saw her..."

"Yeah, about that...did you know the Capulets practice cremation?"

"Well, do suicide notes count?"

Last night? Isn't it still tonight?

"You...you're crying because you're happy for Juliet and me, right?"

SAY IT!

"Oh, and the universe is ending behind us, too."

"...But she'll get better, right?"

o/...There was a seal, a very strange and creepy seal...o/

"So, you think Rosaline's still single?"

"She thinks she can die on me, huh? I'll show HER!"

"...Call me?"

Here's a switch: a priest getting molested.

"I'm late for vespers!"

"You forgot your poison vial!"

What's his tail made out of? Titanium?

"Oh, I hope I didn't miss the Irish wake!"

"...Shoot, I forgot why I came up here!"

And...you couldn't have done this on Shark Island why, exactly?

"Why is he asking for Julienne fries?"

"Someone's calling for Gillian Anderson!"

"Juvie hen?"

"Jew event?"

"Keep it down, some of us have to migrate in the morning!"

Do me Ben?

Great, so the last fifteen minutes of the movie is going to be people screaming "Romeo!" and "Juliet!" over and over again.

Oh, the shark just wanted a bit of fiber! Must be irregular.

Special guest belcher Wakko Warner.

"My fur! That'll NEVER grow back!"

Um...Juliet?

"I'm sitting in something wet!"

"Do you mind? We're trying to mourn here."

.oO(Stupid Romeo, even I heard him bleating "Juliet!" over and over and I'm comatose!)

Whoa, and there goes the MPAA rating.

You Fail Biology Forever

What IS it with inappropriate rap numbers in cartoons?

I feel so dirty right now.

"Wha--dammit, I was trying to put the shark off his appetite!"

Wow, I almost miss Mercutio's wit.
Almost.

Maybe they shouldn't have built the entire reef out of paper mache.

FINALLY, some carnage!

If he ends up becoming Friar Laurence the White, I'm leaving.

Sic semper rapping cartoon animals.

"I'm going to give you SO much acid reflux!"

Dammit, doesn't anyone in this tragedy die?

I've always said, Shakespeare needs more chase scenes with sharks.

I understand that before he wrote the iconic "Duuuun-dun" theme, John Williams was planning on a peppy jazz motif for Jaws.

No. Get eaten and do the world a favor.

The hero of this movie is the shark, right?

Wonder if Romeo's gotten all of that "Juliet!"-ing out of his system yet...

Shark going in a smokestack...this is one of those metaphor things, isn't it?

Ah, just what this scene needed: another level of Hell.

"Um...you mind if I consider my options?"

Uh-oh, this is what got Friar Laurence in trouble with the law last time.

"I mean it, I'll sing again!"

Whoo, go shark!

Please oh please Lord, I'll never ask for anything again if you just let that thing get eaten...

"I'm going to give you such a smack!"

"Oh hey look, a swirly shell!"

That's what I've been saying for the past seventy-five minutes.

Ooooh, I'm going to enjoy this...

Oh dear God, it's got siblings!

Admit it, you've been waiting the entire movie to make that joke, haven't you?

Of course they aren't; they have to listen to you all day.

...
...
...
...

...I fucking hate this movie.

It's times like this that I have to believe there are exceptions to Rule 36, for my own sanity if nothing else.

So, all that, and nobody gets eaten. Okay fine, movie. Get bent.

Why not have it say "Show me the money" while you're at it?

If that thing ends up being the governor of California, I'm going to commit seppuku.

"It's gone, that's all that matters."

Cleopatra!--Wait, that's not it...

But Romeo swam all the way back to Shark Island in the interim, and even more hilarious hijinks ensue!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH, WHEREFORE MEANS WHY YOU SOUND LIKE A GODDAMN IDIOT WHEN YOU MISUSE IT LIKE THAT!!!!!!

Sorry, this movie is getting to me.

Are you with the corpse or the groom?

Romeo killed Juliet with his evil eye!

.oO(Hey, he didn't bring anything for the repast!)

.oO(There's something funny about the new acolyte...)

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Episode 1: Spider in the Bath

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A FILM BY ALAN SMITHEE

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

"Man this thing smells."

NEW FROM ACME: TRICK TOOTHPASTE

Ha, fail!

.oO Great, now how do I get out...

Spider does his Dawn French impression

Sauron on a very low budget

The Green Goblin's Best Plan to Get Rid of Spider-Man EVER!!!

umm...should we be watching this?

"...for breakfast!"

is not recommended

and yet humans keep kiling the poor things

but since he's not alive he doesn't count

KILROY WAS HERE

"Hey kid...HELP!!!"

"Oh great, Chinese Water Torture."

"Alright but don't come crying to me when it grows up and eats you."

Moby Dick!

BZZT...repetition

"Oh cr*p not again!"

he has Spider based paranoia

(insert evil laugh here)

don't worry folks, they become freinds about half way through the series

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Clean Coal Success Story

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TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL!

Fishing next to a 50 year old coal plant. Get ready for the Big Lie, folks.

Rednecks?

"Far as we could get from this sh** hole."

"Tha's right."

SOFT FOCUS = SINCERITY

UNRELATED TESTIMONIALS = RAPPORT

"...your wife."

I should say so!

"Still f*ckin' your wife, Ted."

That's easy to remember.

You put little suits on steam?

"We're going to be using steel, which is metal. And burn coal, which burns."

♫ Heeeeeeeere they come to snuff the Bruce Na... ♫

It can't be that important...

Enter your own damn text.

It means 40% efficiency, vs. the 37% of hundred-year-old technology.

PARTIAL FOCUS = EVEN MORE SINCERITY
(Added in post.)

TIME LAPSE CLOUDS = THOUGHTFULNESS
(Also works with bodies of water, stars, hilly forests.)

It's basically a big Dirt Devil.

"And about 5 million tons of CO2 per annum."

If you'd like to know what these a**holes are actually on about, Council Bluffs #4 happened to be the first coal plant built after the EPA began forcing the power industry to reduce mercury emissions. There are three older plants on the site, each releasing 5x the mercury of #4. We have two more minutes -- think they'll mention any of this?

GREEN STUFF = FRIENDLY

They're circulating, are they?

Rape, larceny, poor dental hygiene...

You built. A fourth. Plant.
That means more pollution, you carpetbagging twat.

"And global warming was made up by Al Gore, so..."

"Fish sticks."

Walri? Kid's nothing if not ambitious. And a bit stupid.

I'm sorry, which disease did you catch?

I only speak New England Redneck, can you repeat large portions of that?

TMI, dude.

"That was no fish, that was my wife!"

*boom!*

FAMILY TESTIMONIAL = TRUST

"Just not in any way that affects me."

BACKLIGHTING + FILL = CALM

"Something heavier than the lure."

MULTIPLE MATCH CUTS = CLOSURE

HITACHI: Doing the Minimum Required by Law™
And expecting a handjob for it!

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Romeo and Juliet: Sealed With a Kiss Part 6

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"Wait, is gravity still in effect?"

So Mercutio dies through his own stupidity. This just gets better and better!

Hurray! o/...Ding dong the witch is dead...o/

Even the cruise ships rejoice at Mercutio's passing.

Maybe if you did something other than stand there and whimper "Romeo!" it might prove useful...

"We've dreamt of this day for so long..."

"'When I walk around you, I get lost!'--now I get it!"

"Can I get you some industrial-strength Sudafed?"

Ever seen a chihuahua barking at a St. Bernard? Same concept.

Unfortunately, they were fighting right on top of Eyjafjallajokul...

Sweet, maybe if we're lucky the annoying brat fish will get taken out too!

"Romeo!--Try to land on the Prince, he's soft!"

The Denver Broncos Lagoon

If the rest of this movie is characters dying one by one, maybe there's hope...

Dibs on his pelt.

"Maybe we should check to see if they're actually dead.."
"Nah, too much trouble."

"My only heir is dead!...On the plus side, I have an excuse to get a trophy wife now!"

Or the taxidermist?

"Shoot, and before I could take out a life insurance policy on him!"

"Dammit!...Uh, I mean, you're alive, yay!"

"I would have looked TERRIBLE in mourning!"

This kid's movie comes with random commentary from a five-year-old already inserted!

From Here to Stupidity

"Seriously, get a reef, you two!"

....Please DON'T pan down.

"Dammit, we're NEVER going to get to consummate our relationship!"

"You know there's a rule against sex on the beach!"

"Because you killed...no wait, you...you...look, just leave, all right?"

"Everyone remembers why we call it Shark Island, right? Good."

Don't worry, it's only a name. Shark Island is actually a peninsula.

"...As long as you're going to Shark Island, can you get me one of those neat shark's tooth necklaces?"

"Oh no, an insurmountable three inch high obstacle!"

"The three hours we've spent together have been the happiest of my life!"

"Call me if you need anything, or decide to fake your death or something, all right?"

"Maybe I could follow him into exile...naaaah, don't want to get my fur wet."

"Okay, if you say so."

"I am NOT going to lose my deposit on the caterer!"

"What would Ophelia do?"

Hey, Shark Island lost weight!

Could someone buy these characters some irises?

"It's not FAIR! Curse my unparalleled beauty for making all men desire me!"

"Must the irritating supporting cast haunt me wherever I go?"

"Wow, it really was a stupid relationship..."

Her memory needs a continuity editor.

Montague, Montague...Hey, that would make a good base for a techno song...

"Any more significant landmarks I can run past?"

"So, should we end the feud?"
"Nah, nobody's died...well, Mercutio, but he doesn't count."

o/...Be prepaaaaaared...o/

Krakatoa cloned itself!

Ew, no hip bumps please.

Featuring the Care Bear Stars Chorus!

So much for the villain getting a good song...

I suppose "ridiculous-looking" is a style, of sorts...

Hey, don't go dragging Gilbert and Sullivan down with you!

Technically you can't conceal what's non-existent, so...

"I got it from a banana!"

"But it's just baby fat, really."

Maybe if you didn't eat everyone who disagreed with you...

"Well, you know what they say about guys with big noses..."

Hey, this is encouraging kids to go hot potting! Won't someone please think of the children?!

Wow, elephant seals can bathe in lava. There's something they never mentioned on Animal Planet.

"Plus there's a crushing pressure in my chest and my left flipper's numb...oh sh--"

Nothing like a magma enema for clearing out the bowels!

Rough waters in the CGI Bay tonight...

So, why "Shark Island," anyway? They could have just as easily called it "Dolphin Island" or "Orca Island" or "Generic Dorsal Fin Island"...

Okay, I think the shot is well and truly established now...

o/...Someday I'll be part of your woooooorld...o/

.oO(I should have brought a magazine.)

Oh great, hasn't he suffered enough?

"Perhaps it's not so bad...I mean, how long can banishment last, really?"

.oO(Maybe if I ignore it, it'll go bother someone else...)

"Most days I pray for oil spills."

"It makes my fins all pruney."

"I'll be your wife if it'll make you feel better."

Why don't you go tell him that, then?

I'm glad it didn't suggest a spanking.

...Gaaah, that's just as bad if not worse!

Simba...Simba...oh sorry! Um, could either of you tell me the quickest way to Africa?

Go cry, emo seal.

o/...Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me...o/

"Whatever, I couldn't possibly be more depressed than I am right now."

"...Never mind, I was wrong."

Actually, this is the best song in the score so far.

.oO(There's no other food on this rock, I guess it'll have to do...)

Hey, I see the route to Neverland...

Awww, poor Ray...*sniffle*

"Say, do you know 'Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes'?"

"Ew, cooties!"

And it's promptly eaten by a barracuda.

"For leaving."

Hey, there's a whale flying overhead!

"The great taste of cream cheese with only half the fat?"

"And he didn't invite me to go with?"

"I have bingo!"

"You'll just have to spiritually enlighten yourself!"

This is very subtle, but I'm getting the impression Friar Laurence doesn't know what to say to this.

"Just think of Romeo as a starter marriage..."

"Even though this goes against all Catholic laws for marriage, you have no choice!"

"We'll just call the Romeo thing a mulligan."

"What, you're not going to threaten to off yourself right now? You're taking this better than I expected..."

The music's stuck in tremolo...

.oO(I've got it! Cherry flavored host for kids!)

"My magical chafing dish might have a solution!"

That baptismal font is WAY overdue for a cleaning.

He looks like the Lorax after Weight Watchers.

"We'll hold a bake sale!"

Why does the kindly priest get a more sinister song than the villain?

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