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Could someone turn off the Name of the Rose soundtrack?
"She looks so natural."
She's become Juliet the White!
Er, whiter, anyway...
Er, whiter, anyway...
Don't touch her, Romeo, she's radioactive.
.oO(I suppose we could do a sort of "Last Dance With Mary Jane" thing...)
Ewww, zombie breath!
"Anybody have an Altoid?"
"Thus, with a kiss, I'm high."
"Still, this isn't as bad as when Mercutio crashed Great-Uncle Vincento's funeral and tap-danced on the coffin..."
"There's still going to be a light lunch to follow, right?"
"Dammit, how many times am I going to have to mourn that kid?"
"Dogpile on the corpses!"
"You never were that bright."
Great, the movie's going supernova.
Personally, I think "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" is overused at funerals. I want them to play "The Grand Old Duke of York" at mine.
"Oh, I suppose everyone is going to blame ME for this now, right?"
"Broncos? Raiders?"
"You copied my mustache!"
"You got a 'my son!' to throw in here?"
"Well, hate, hormones, teen angst, and really bad communication. But mostly hate."
"And by 'we' I mean 'you'."
Well, that does explain the demon fish.
*both* "This is all your fault."
"Ew, and right on their kids' corpses, too!"
RICKYYYYY!!!
No, to really hammer home the tragedy you need a slide whistle.
.oO(This worked out pretty well. I should have helped Juliet fake her death years ago!)
Friar Laurence was right, we ARE being punished!
"Does this mean you want your laptop back?"
"Great, just when our day couldn't get any worse..."
"Yeah, it's a funeral. How would you like to be the guest of honor?"
"Geez, I go away for a few days and everybody commits suicide on me."
"Heh-heh, you get it? Dead? Ah, my comedic wit is wasted here..."
And another feud breaks out over who gets to disembowel Mercutio.
"Just keep playing dead, he'll go away soon enough!"
It's a Truffula tree!
So, Romeo and Juliet are dead, movie's over, right? Please?
A watched corpse never decomposes, you know.
"Aw man, I had this terrible dream that we were doing a bad remake of Romeo and Juliet and there was this evil demon fish and..."
"....ah, shit."
And somewhere, the spirit of Thomas Bowdler smiles with approval.
Maybe the tragedy is that Mercutio doesn't die...
"So THAT'S what kissing a girl looks like."
See? It can survive out of water; it's not a normal fish! It's a creature spawned from the pits of Hell sent to torment us!
At the reception, the crabs will be both the band and the main course!
"Stop it! Stop it! NO MORE BLOODY SINGING!"
.oO(This bites, everyone's forgotten me and I'm the friggin' villain!)
YAY!
.oO(I think I hear dessert calling...)
Dame Edna!
"Romeo, I am both grossed out and turned on right now."
The movie's just spinning its wheels now...
Remember kids, fat people are deserving of your ridicule and should only mate with their own kind.
Well, it still has most of Mercutio's dialogue beat.
"Let's go to that deserted island and bug Prospero."
And the next day they were run over by jet skis.
"I've got a sheath for your happy dagger right here, sweetheart."
For never was a tale more of woe/Than this of Evil Fish and damn Mercutio.
Wherefore art my gun?
(Crap, now they've got me doing it!)
(Crap, now they've got me doing it!)
Coming soon from Phil Nibbelink Productions: King Cobra Lear, the all-swine version of The Merchant of Venice, and Taming of the Shrew with actual shrews!
What a git.
Ew, Romeo and Juliet were siblings? Where was this produced, Alabama?
AAAAGH, THERE'S NO ESCAPE!!!
So did I. That was a great ten minutes, wasn't it?
Sorry, ran out of Monistat.
It is Prince of Darkness and Father of Lies, right?
Oh, I've got something you can kiss right here...
This space is for all the people who asked to have their names taken off the project.
I don't know if I'd call this music a "courtesy"...
The Music Bakery? Maybe after we go there we can visit the Cake Studio.
Chanelle "Number Five" Nibbelink
Phil "Nepotism" Nibbelink
We've desecrated everything we can, goodnight everybody!
That thing will haunt my nightmares for years to come.
Capped by TheDiva
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