Saturday, May 14, 2011

The BFG (7/10)

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"It is I, Little Miss RubberFace."
.oO Oh sh*t, she's on to me!
So the 'MORE ROYAL SECRETS' bit reports on the Queen's nightmares
"But the giants aren't mentioned so not quite like my nightmare."
"Surely you can see that from where you're sitting."
"Ah yes, through the front door."
Well, by definition, all giants are 'very tall'
"Please don't say we missed something out when brewing the Trogglehumper."
The Queen is very good at remembering dreams isn't she...I always forget mind within minutes.
"I guess we did miss something out after all."
He stole the cloak from The Death of Giants
"Even though there's only one of me."
"Well, Beryl can be pretty aweful at times."
"For instance, did you know that Prince Charles still wets the bed?"

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Rebecca Black--Friday

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Great, High School Musical font. This does not bode well.
Quoting better songs isn't going to improve your crappy song any, honey.
Oh no, we've hit a time warp!
o/...Did my hair and makeup in my sleep last night...o/
Is she possessed by one of those creepy J-horror ghosts?
Starring Marilyn Monroe!
Amy Adams?
"Come on, we're going to get thrown from the car and into the side of a semi, it'll be fun!"
The existential dilemmas our young people are faced with these days...
I didn't think it was possible, but she's so Auto-Tuned it's wrapped all the way back around to tone deaf.
They pass a car full of Alanis Morrisettes going the other way...
That's great, kids, just keep pretending the car's actually moving!
o/...Till her daddy takes the T-bird awaaaaaaay!...o/
Highway? You're sitting in front of a Target Photo backdrop in a car none of you are old enough to drive; just accept it...
This is what ten-year-olds think being sixteen is like...
*girl on left* "Thanks Becca, what am I, chopped liver?"
Yes, if I've learned nothing else, it's that she's got this and I've got this.
What I wouldn't give for this to turn into a cautionary driver's ed film right about now...
You got into Mommy's makeup again, didn't you Rebecca?
Call me old-fashioned, but I prefer the classic Dragnet theme.
I'm looking forward to the end of the song.
Her youth group throws the BEST parties!
People prone to seizures should not watch Rebecca Black.
....Come to think of it, that's good advice for people who aren't prone to seizures, too.
"We pass remedial English!"
Maybe this is just a failed Sesame Street segment.
Oh no, another video is trying to muscle in on her territory!
Break it down, MC Lamer!
It was nice of them to give the pedophile hanging around outside the school a cameo in their video.
So, their junior high production of Bye Bye Birdie was having a cast party and just decided to make a music video, huh?
Wave your hands in the air like you just kind of vaguely don't care!
Parents, don't let this happen to you! Don't let your children watch Glee!
And there was much partying.
"Yeah."
Is she in the Netherworld?
Even the extras are having a hard time looking excited at this point.
"Yeah, kick it girl. We're going to ride the bile of YouTube commentators all the way to stardom!"
*Weekend not available in all areas. Partying partying and fun fun fun fun results may vary. Offer not valid in VT.
*checks watch* And her fifteen minutes will be up just about...
...now.


Capped by TheDiva
YouTubeCapper.Blogspot.com

Friday, May 6, 2011

Sesame Street - U Really Got A Hold On Me

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Did we just see a blipvert?
Hey, Smokey Robinson before he changed his name to Crispy!
Always keeping an eye out for Berry Gordy.
Why the French flag pocket protector?
GAH!
Later used as a jingle for Polident.
"I'm not that kind of singer!"
"-and other Stevie Wonder songs..."
MOTOWN STAR MOLESTED BY MAGNET, FILM AT 11
"Hey, this show brought to you by the letters N and O!"
Smokey's recurring nightmare: A touchy-feely toilet seat.
Jim Henson's a sick, sick man.
This is by the CHILDREN'S Television Workshop?
No, don't encourage it!
I'm Crazy Vice-Head, now give me some candy!
Tammy Faye's reincarnation.
This is what convinced the Japanese to syndicate the show.
Smokey had a nice long talk with his manager following this.
Thankfully, the Coast Guard airlifted him out of the performance.
You're clearly not trying, Smokey.
So if "U" is feminine, is "R" masculine, thanks to its serif?
CGI later proved to be the demise of the black-garbed stagehand.
They married, and had three lovely vowels.
Capped by Jack Routers
YouTubeCapper.Blogspot.com

Taco Bell's Pizza Pizzazz

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By criminally underpaid workers!
Judge Reinhold is derisive.
How many drugs were we ON in the Eighties?
Oh no, a Culkin!
Aigh, evil Culkin!
Taco Bell: Bastardizing a grand cuisine since 1962!
Someone wants their taco stuffed.
Capped by Jack Routers
YouTubeCapper.Blogspot.com

The Ancient Church (1of3)

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Hello folks! Thank you for joining us. I'd like to welcome you all to another fun riff with the YouTube Captioning-
DAH!
If a synth hit that heavy doesn't save you, the '80s hold no salvation for you!
In the Beginning, there was an awkward silence...
WITH '80s LOVE FROM

WILSON PHILLIPS

We are just working Adobe Premier 3.1 here.
The Thomas Haden Story

Ahh. The born-again Baldwin.
"Verily, as ye have done unto the least of these Baldwins, so have ye done unto me" --Celebs 3:41
Yeah? Tea?
Waa hoo raa!
And now ended. Nice going, Sister Celibacy.
"To dissipate. Perhaps nucleate a raindrop."
(By men obviously. We never finish anything.)
Gentrification?
Wherever quality churches are sold!
Before the invention of science, a candle had to be a candle in the darkness. Functional, but lacking in poetry.
"...Voltron style..."
"...and potlatch..."
"...right across from the laundromat."
Among other things.
The ax can't wait until noon?
"...Jesus don't want none/ 'Less you got buns hon..."
And one that claims to be a cheap knockoff. They're weird.
Human nature?
Oh, this is a terrible art gallery.
We're going in, we're going in FULL THROTTLE! That aught to keep those Papists off our tail!
Geez, get a plant 325 A.D.
And coming soon to Copley Square, Cleveland Circle and The Shops of the Prudential!
Is anyone else seeing an upside down cock & balls?
"...loser James..."
*cough* Nepotism! *cough!*
Kinky!
Even the parts that aren't cruel or nonsensical?
God's all wise, he's just not a very clear communicator.
"...It ended in a pie fight."
15 axes? Are we sure none of them were splitting mauls?
#1. Point cannon away from face.
Faith in Santa.
Legionaries wore Birkenstocks?
The mothers didn't trouble their pretty little heads over it.
"...and sculpt ever more elaborate brass dandelions."
"It's still wet."
Count Dooku?
(90 years. Men. Gotta love us.)
                                                    ↑
                                                  Bored sick
"Look, a penny."
"Look, a penny."
"Look, a penny."
"Look, a penny."
Meanwhile, Islam.
"They are as exciting as they sound."
What about the Coptics?
"Jesus! Shut your head off! We're trying to sleep down here."
Just like "Joey" on NBC.
You'd think God would have seen this coming.
1. The unification or trinary nature of the Trinity
2. Godzilla
"...bowl cuts."
Baldwin's voice has a comforting "what the sh*t-ness" to it.