Showing posts with label religion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label religion. Show all posts

Friday, May 6, 2011

The Ancient Church (1of3)

TJueCXNUahw
You need Flash player 8+ and JavaScript enabled to view this video.

Hello folks! Thank you for joining us. I'd like to welcome you all to another fun riff with the YouTube Captioning-
DAH!
If a synth hit that heavy doesn't save you, the '80s hold no salvation for you!
In the Beginning, there was an awkward silence...
WITH '80s LOVE FROM

WILSON PHILLIPS

We are just working Adobe Premier 3.1 here.
The Thomas Haden Story

Ahh. The born-again Baldwin.
"Verily, as ye have done unto the least of these Baldwins, so have ye done unto me" --Celebs 3:41
Yeah? Tea?
Waa hoo raa!
And now ended. Nice going, Sister Celibacy.
"To dissipate. Perhaps nucleate a raindrop."
(By men obviously. We never finish anything.)
Gentrification?
Wherever quality churches are sold!
Before the invention of science, a candle had to be a candle in the darkness. Functional, but lacking in poetry.
"...Voltron style..."
"...and potlatch..."
"...right across from the laundromat."
Among other things.
The ax can't wait until noon?
♬ "...Jesus don't want none/ 'Less you got buns hon..." ♫
And one that claims to be a cheap knockoff. They're weird.
Human nature?
Oh, this is a terrible art gallery.
We're going in, we're going in FULL THROTTLE! That aught to keep those Papists off our tail!
Geez, get a plant 325 A.D.
And coming soon to Copley Square, Cleveland Circle and The Shops of the Prudential!
Is anyone else seeing an upside down cock & balls?
"...loser James..."
*cough* Nepotism! *cough!*
Kinky!
Even the parts that aren't cruel or nonsensical?
God's all wise, he's just not a very clear communicator.
"...It ended in a pie fight."
15 axes? Are we sure none of them were splitting mauls?
#1. Point cannon away from face.
Faith in Santa.
Legionaries wore Birkenstocks?
The mothers didn't trouble their pretty little heads over it.
"...and sculpt ever more elaborate brass dandelions."
"It's still wet."
Count Dooku?
(90 years. Men. Gotta love us.)
                                                    ↑
                                                  Bored sick
"Look, a penny."
"Look, a penny."
"Look, a penny."
"Look, a penny."
Meanwhile, Islam.
"They are as exciting as they sound."
What about the Coptics?
"Jesus! Shut your head off! We're trying to sleep down here."
Just like "Joey" on NBC.
You'd think God would have seen this coming.
1. The unification or trinary nature of the Trinity
2. Godzilla
"...bowl cuts."
Baldwin's voice has a comforting "what the sh*t-ness" to it.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Jesus and Moses Went Golfing

khoSNERaCt0
You need Flash player 8+ and JavaScript enabled to view this video.
"...you said we'd be in the desert for a week."
Book of Clubs: 8 wood 4
Please don't do that.
Spreads a choirboy's anus, and...
Jesus doesn't handle confrontation well.
But it's hard to make par with your penis.
Passive-aggressively immitating Charlie Chaplin.
Moses was just being an asshole.
Is Jesus doing the sound effects too?
( / 2) -
For more of God being a dick, please read the Old Testament.
" God is just sick of your masturbating. "
(The guy reaching for the man with the limp penis.)
Did he say when?
.
o
O
(He's right... He's right... That's right... Oh my god, that's so right...)
Did they know how condoms worked?
"BASTARDS!"
It also lets SATAN crawl up your hoo-ha.
"You... SLUT."
Actually, the Catholic church has spent the last thousand years debating the point of "ensoulement" without coming to any solid consensus.
Something that happens naturally to 60-80% of fertilized eggs anyway. (Yes, fertilized eggs.)
Wait, when did logic come into the Catholic church?
Or "GALILEO WAS RIGHT!" prior to Nirvana dropping the Nevermind album.
There there, Thomas Aquinas, William of Occam and Aristotle -- the molestache man is almost done.
Yes, I can clearly see the moral and logical problem you've backed yourself into.
←Bad    Good→
"Sorry about your son's sphincter, here's some money..."
Do you get the feeling that somewhere there's a shop class missing its wacky teacher, and the girls are having to use the bandsaw without someone leaning over to guide both of their hands?
Brought to You by Your Ashur-Worshipping Friends in Ninveh:
Capital of the Ancient Assyrian Empire
Capped by Space Toast
YouTubeCapper.Blogspot.com