Saturday, April 30, 2011

Thumbelina, Part 9

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"That's your mom? Bitch stepped on my favorite cousin!"
William and Kate did it better.
Isn't this where pets are supposed to go when they die?
Half an hour into the honeymoon, he gets lost in a swamp and she's engaged to a possum...
*CRASH!*
"Buh-bye, stay shallow, pretty, and annoying!"
"We did it! Now off to haunt more nightmares!"
Unfortunately, he still can't get married in most states.
Why is she wearing a candy wrapper on her head?
Poor dopes think "honeymoon" means they actually have to visit the moon.
"--they ripped off Beauty and the Beast ever after!"
No, Thumbelina's still reading tha-
*squish*
So, whatever happened to that hootchie-mama toad, anyway? Did she ever get that gig in Branson?
The film looked in the Ark!
In order to help you leave the theater faster, here's the most annoying song in the show!
I'm not sure if this is just a blurry copy, or of the crew is just trying to protect its identity.
Eggman! He came out of the chicken coop to do battle with THE AMAZING RANDO!
Character aviators? What?
So, what was up with Hans Christian Andersen's characters not doing anything, anyway? The Ugly Duckling, The Steadfast Tin Soldier, the Little Match Girl, this chick...it's like a buffet of passivity!
Then again, we are talking about a guy who spent most of his life in a state of severe sexual repression...
Doesn't the guy on the bottom left need to get back to The Secret of NIMH?
Coat Check Co-Ordinator?
Awesome Carpet Questions?
Ink & Pants Chairoscuro Contacts...oh, I give up.
Where are the underpaid Koreans? It seems to me you can't make an animated movie of this, ah, caliber without underpaid Koreans...
Oh yeah, there was a bear in this movie for like, thirty seconds, wasn't there?
Yuk Yum? There's a confusing name for you.
And now, please welcome the End Credits Pop Ballad, complete with Mid-Ninties Electric Keyboard Opening!
"This is another fine mess you've gotten us into, Stanley."
Kangaroo Checkers? That sounds like a fun game!
*sigh* You're going to give every damn character with a speaking role a cameo in the credits, aren't you?
I'm dreaming of the ending of this movie...
Hey, the underpaid Koreans! And fittingly, a couple of them are named "Dang"!
Wait...you already did the cast! No fair, you can't repeat credits!
Taco was involved in this movie? I suppose we should be thankful we didn't hear Gilbert Gottfried singing "Puttin' on the Ritz."
Irish Film Orchestrations: Because you'll need a lot of whiskey to get through this score.
Let's see, there's the Electric Guitar Riff, we already had the Slow Cymbal Roll, the Soulful Duet, and the Soothing Synthesizer Chords...Hey, I got End Credit Song Bingo!
Skywalker Sound? Come to think of it, this movie could have benefited from a few lightsaber noises...
Sounds like someone put Aretha Franklin and Tina Turner in a gene splicing machine.
I can't read what that says, but I'm going to be charitable and assume it's an apology.
"Hi everyone, Hero the Dog here. I just wanted to say that I'm aware this entire movie could have been avoided if I hadn't been such a useless guard dog, and I humbly apologize for the pain you had to go through."
Did they do the part about not being able to rebroadcast without permission of the Major League Baseball Association?
She's shitting credits!
What, is Ferris going to come out now?


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