Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Titanic: The Animated Movie (Part 3)

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This ship has had the HELL established out of it!
"Candygram."
Matthew Broderick and Nathan Lane in Some Like It Hot!
"You know, someone prettier and therefore better than you."
"We barely know you and one of my daughters is practically nude, but come on in!"
"Phew, I almost had to talk to ugly people for a moment there!"
"Let me flip through the Gideon Bible here for a moment and I'll tell you."
"At least I assume she is from the thirty seconds we spent together."
Oh, really?
"How many people can an ocean liner hold, anyway?"
Going?
"You're hornier than a field full of bulls."
"You're lucky he didn't start sniffing your underwear."
"So shut your weirdly deformed trap already!"
"That curls my sideburns!"
"I've ordered a kit from Hobby Lobby and everything!"
"Or a few hours, give or take."
I'm starting to question the wisdom of the "women and children first" philosophy.
"You are Mother Goose, right?"
"Well, she's on Facebook..."
"I just want to shag her senseless, what's wrong with that?"
Yum, slightly dirty water!
"My breasts couldn't be more ladylike!"
Don Bluth's "The Continental."
"A back for your dress!"
Officer Killjoy disapproves.
It's a little known fact that the recipient of the world's first boob job was on the Titanic.
Shom-pag-nuh?
"Yyyep, I'm da man."
With Harry Blackstone Jr. on piano!
o/...IT'S PARTY TIME, IT'S PARTY TIME...o/
She's a zombie! RUN!!
"Even though you can hear her out here."
"Mr. Goodbar."
MWA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Wow, I never thought I'd be nostalgic for Celine Dion...
"I'm from Narnia."
"Except maybe in a game of Trivial Pursuit..."
"Well, that and winning second place in the slot machine tournament."
Cleopatra thinks that eyeliner is a bit much.
"You caught me cause you want me, one day you'll let me go."
"Miss Jackson if you're nasty."
"I'll catch the garter for you!"
"Help me, I've been flying for three days straight!"
Hey, the ship has a hammock!
"No last name, like Prince or Madonna."
Quite easily, actually.
Whose dress is that? Is she hiding a thinner woman under her skirt?
"I'm going to be playing shuffleboard on the Lido deck."
"Not like I could wear anything designed to fit their grotesquely deformed bodies anyway..."
She's not so much sweet as diabetic.
"Some guy dropped a chandelier in the middle of the performance, it was really weird..."
"I was octagonal in my younger days..."
So her fairy godmother is a short, dumpy widow?
Beer nuts and whore tents?
"They are blindingly stupid, after all."
"Someone order a call girl?"
"Call me Snooty McSnideface."
"So I figured barging onto the bridge was the next logical step."
"It looks absolutely nothing like the Coeur de la Mer from that other Titanic movie, really."
"I'm the vaguely pretty one."
He makes that sound so sinister...
It's going to turn out she's Ursula in disguise, right?
"It's a trite enough plot twist."
"There's an engraving on the back that says 'property of a sweet girl who's kind to animals'..."
Someone's going to get an eye put out...and you know, I'm okay with that.
"Here, let me help you impale yourself."
"So I castrated myself for nothing, thanks."
*insert Also sprach Zarathustra here*
"Why am I doing this? I'm a mouse; I should be nibbling on people's snack stashes and spreading disease!"
Cirque du Soleil's "Tom and Jerry"
"This will work if we ignore the laws of physics."
So, seagull ass and mouse batch. Thanks, movie.
Wow, that is one top-heavy chair; I'm amazed it can stand upright...
The cat has jaundice!
"We're not looking for a lock, we're looking for a locket!"
"Damn, NOW you tell me!"
Azrael put on a lot of weight.
"There's a crystal goblet of Fancy Feast with my name on it!"
So, they brought two changes of clothes for the entire voyage...
He makes Snooch look svelte.
But they did remember a nice collection of trench coats, so that's something.
"A human, EEK!"
Because she's fat, get it?
o/...The Loooooove Boat...o/
Does Disney know they took a non-union gig?
"It's unusually pleasant, actually."
Dammit, this movie needs to set out some glue traps or something...
Iago could so beat the shit out of this guy.
An Ehrlich? Max or Paul?
"And I can't stand the sound of your voice."
Nothing says a dramatic heist like bongo music!
Is that the only song she knows?
"If I can't see her, she can't see me!"
"Hey, who turned out the lights?
Why is she keeping the locket in a snuf box?
"I'll just put this in my change purse..."
"Someday you'll return the favor..."
"Don't make me come over there!"
He makes a convincing argument.
Tommy Smothers is in the air vent!
"To steal is evil, and I want to be good!"
"And why do I have teeth?"
"It's got fleas and avian flu on it now, but here you go..."
And a little Bubonic plague for good measure!
She probably doesn't wash her hands after using the restroom either...




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