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This is another one of Edison's propaganda pieces against Tesla, isn't it?
And see images from the film in the current Weekly Prose.
"I thought you said we were getting a Barrymore for this movie!"
"Yeah, abou that..."
"Yeah, abou that..."
"Can this wait? I'm still getting the script from the Pictoral Review..."
"Shoot, I just cut my unemployment check in half!"
"a Christmas pasty?" So all their kids get for the holidays is a pie shell filled with meat and veggies?
"Don't read over my shoulder! You know that makes me nervous!"
"Well, of course I'll help them out! Who better to play Santa Claus than a skinny, greasy-haired dandy?"
"Have fun, I'm sick of slaving away for your 1% ass so I'm joining the Occupy Wall Street community..."
"Welcome to Shelves O' Random Crap, what can I help you find today?"
"S'alright?"
"S'alright."
"S'alright."
"Whoops, this is our King Lear costume. Let me go back and get the Santa coat..."
"While I'm here, I'd also like to buy a washbasin and a lynched drum..."
"Ah, this must be Mrs. Randall's home in Oakville. See, it pays to read the title cards."
And he's greeted by the cast of Gosford Park!
Dammit, I HATE it when a movie drags the credits out through the entire opening sequence...
"Say the secret word and the main entree comes down."
"Now remember, Jimmy, what happened behind the tool shed is our little secret, right?"
Edision Pictures presents "A Date With Your Family"
No, that entrance wasn't suspicious enough. Try it with a black cloak and a mustache to twirl...
"Anybody seen my hat?"
"And then we got to go on a field trip to the textile mill to see the poor children get amputated! Yay!"
"Well, I'll just go asex-SIST! Assist your wife..."
"I'm not a burglar, I'm just looking for my hat. It was a nice hat, too..."
"Nice! Is the burglar over in the corner new, too?"
"Don't use the wardrobe, though. One of the kids went in there last week and came out claiming to be king of somewhere-or-another..."
"Now remember, Santa has to tell me I've been a VERY naughty girl..."
That's not Grace Randall, it's Amelia Earhart!
"He's going to be Santa? Well, I've been a VERY--"
"Wait your turn!"
"Wait your turn!"
"Look, I paid for the hour, I get first dibsies!"
"Dammit, that hat has to be around here somewhere..."
"I know, I'll hide in the garderobe!"
"Yyyyyyyep, still poncy!"
"Let's see, the g-string and the bit with the tassels should go on first..."
NO ONE will be seated during the thrilling unpacking scene!
"There's the corset, and the wedding veil, that should be everything..."
"Sit down, children, and I'll tell you all about my exciting adventures with Gertrude Stein..."
Dammit, they sold him the Dumbledore costume by mistake!
"Let's see...um, ho-ho-ha! No, that's not right, shoot..."
Why is that one kid wearing an origami swan on her head?
"There, now I can go back to finding my hat in peace!"
"I'll take this basket of goodies to Grandma's while I'm at it..."
"I'm not sure what she proposed is anatomically possible..."
"And this is how I danced with Alice B. Toklas..."
"Hmmm, maybe my hat is in one of these presents..."
The monster! He's stealing their Swiss Colony gift boxes!
Well, when you have cookies at every stop om your route, you've got to expect a sugar crash...
o/...You're a mean one, Mr. Generic Silent Film Villain...o/
"I'll take this fruitcake too, in case I need a weapon in a pinch..."
"Ooooh man, whatever was in that eggnog was good shit!"
"This bites. I can't wait until they invent the 24-hour Christmas Story marathon..."
"I guess the intertitle was right; I AM locked in! Shoot..."
"I've got it! I'll write a sign that says 'Octavius miraculously escapes' and hold it up to the camera!"
Aaaand back to the incestuous dance party.
"Are you okay? We're still on for later, right?"
"God dammit, the dog piddled on the tree again!"
"Um, yeah, the dog did that..."
"Um, yeah, the dog did that..."
As a general rule, don't trust people who refer to themselves in the third person...
"Fear not, madam, I shall deploy my powers of dandydom and save the day!"
"I've got to find a bell to ring on a street corner, fast!"
Christmas comes to the set of Gangs of New York.
"Now to hitch a ride to the set of The Great Train Robbery, and I'm in the clear!"
D.W. Griffith's The Polar Express
He's a quick change artist!
Oh, this is the scene where he throws the Nazis off and then turns to the crowd and says "No ticket," right?
Just take our workd for it. There was an attempt, and it failed.
o/...I hear the sleigh a-comin', it's rollin' round the bend...o/
This was before they had lighting in movies...
"You gotta help me! Pitch is after me again and this time he's got a gun!"
This is going to end with one of them screaming "Shoot us both, Rudolph, it's the only way!" isn't it?
"Look, can't I just eat my Jimmy John's in peace?"
"Oh you are SO getting a lump of coal and a switch this year!"
He's trying to figure out a discreet way to ask for the latest issue of Hot Elf Girls...
"Hey, that was my lunch! First my hat, now this!"
"Come on, at least let me keep the bag of Doritos!"
Solomon would have just ordered the gift basket to be cut in two.
"The proper term is breast, thank you very much!"
Oh come on, all he did was ride down to the next train station and filched the guy's basket when he was distracted by the nudie mags. That's not exactly Sherlock Holmes-level detective work there...
"Christmas is saved! I've brought Quizno's for everybody!"
And after all this, that poor guy never found his hat. Well, at least he got a nice Santa costume out of the deal...
The first Bratz dolls were very different.
"And for you, young man, a replica of Leonardo's Horse!
"Okay, who ordered the Classic Italian on wheat?"
"It's toasted and everything! You shouldn't have!"
"Thanks, this is really good for my carpal tunnel..."
"Are you going to sex her up? Can we watch?"
"No, it's okay, go on with what you were doing. It's not anything we haven't seen a million times at the nickelodeon anyway..."
Damn, usually you have to wait to have your own kids to have this problem...
"If Grace won't let you do her up the backdoor, I'd be more than willing..."
"Don't worry, this will be much easier when they invent the Internet."
"Fifty cents says he fists her."
A fine wood varnish!
Helena Bonham-Carter in her private boudoir.
"Now, where were we? Ah yes, I was holding your arm out in a stiff passionless manner, like so...
Well, there was that incident with Psyche, but we'll let that pass.
"God dammit, you little pervs! Go watch Charlie Brown or something!"
These two kids later went on to write the Hays Code.
"There's a dime, it should keep you in candy for a month. Now beat it!"
A child's first extortion racket is such a magical thing...
"Dammit, who didn't put up the fourth wall?"
Hey, you've got the paragraph markings enabled on your credits!
Capped by TheCarolingDiva
YouTubeCapper.Blogspot.com
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