Friday, September 2, 2011

Legend of the Titanic, Part 5

You need Flash player 8+ and JavaScript enabled to view this video.
The NIMH Philharmonic!
Eh, beats Lawrence Welk, I suppose.
"And my I explain why I'm suddenly speaking with a Latin accent for no apparent reason?"
"So, um, do you want to talk, or ask for my name, or..."
Disney called; they want the ending to Sleeping Beauty back...
"You are now carrying my child."
"That is the mystery of the dance."
And the homoerotic subtext ceases to be subtext.
"Hey, what about us? We were promised ten cuttlebones for this gig!"
"Damn, I thought he was into me!"
It'll never work out; eventually they'll have to talk to one another...
"On my signal, poop! Ready..."
Vaguely David Hasselhoff and Vaguely Kate Winslet: A Vague Love Story
"Surrounded by vermin! This is the most romantic date EVER!"
"Beggin' Strips are on me tonight!"
Well, it's going to be awkward explaining the wedding guest list to her father...
"No, I said party music, not 80's video game music!"
Whoa, conductor got back!
Even back then, white people just could not dance.
Okay, that's how you shake dog poo off your shoes, now let's try dancing...
They're not even married yet, and they already have a reception with embarrassing dancing...
This from the country that invented the tarantella?
Well, um, mucho gusto, I guess.
Do you really want to be dancing that close to Ascot Boy's feet? I'm just sayin'...
The dog's having a seizure! No wait, that's more dancing, my bad...
"You will always be my first love..."
Tone it down, woman! They can see your calves!
"I either need to quit drinking or start drinking."
.oO(Mmmm, cake sounds good. I wonder if the buffet's still open...)
Don't worry, Ice is watching his cholesterol.
Wow, the effects look even cheaper by twilight.
So you just took someone's 3D concept of an ocean liner and made a movie with it. Big deal.
"And he's a Gypsy, and he has no job or money, and his dog loves to pee on people for kicks, and..."
"I understand, darling. Now you just sit quietly while Daddy writes a letter to the convent..."
"What, you don't like my Church Lady impression? Okay, get bent."
"Don't make me rasp at you some more!"
"Or at least settle this in a wading pool filled with chocolate pudding!"
"He won't even have me until after your father's life insurance cashes out--wait, did I say that out loud?"
"Don't mind your stepmother; it's her job to be evil..."
"And by 'blessing,' I mean 'you're out of the will'."
Oh, you two are busy plotting; we'll just wait over here.
"First, we'll eat that lovely merengue on your head..."
"Shut up or you'll miss the next plot point!"
"Um, shouldn't we wait until we hear the evil plan first? Ah, never mind..."
A shut ventilation grate? What are the odds?
Ewww, kibble breath!
Yeah, nobody wakes up sleeping dogs like Beckham.
Wow, steerage has some nice suites...
"We didn't mean to turn you on!"
That must be his sleeping puffy shirt and tight pants.
"Did we skip a page again?"
"Hiring rentboys, now that I'll believe!"
You sure? I mean, it could be the Edmund Fitzgerald, the Lusitania...
"Well, if there's a whaling concession involved, you MUST be telling the truth!"
"'re starting to make sense and that scares me."
Oh, that is SO catist.
Wait, who's talking?
And that's the FIRST sane thing anyone's said in this movie!
"Where we don't know where the next penny's coming from!"
Do soccer playing mice count?
"--It's spanking time!"
"And by stateroom, I mean hallway outside the staterooms."
"I ran out of Just for Men halfway through, all right?"
"Well, that's it for my random and pointless character development, off to the next bizarre plot point..."
"Stupid bangs! I should just let them grow out..."
"This isn't a wire, it's a piece of paper!"
"Quick, get some catgut!"
"Must be a pixie jazz combo..."
Brazilian mice celebrate the World Cup!
"Shoot, we've got anthropomorphic rodents. Time to call the exterminator."
Could you sneak a little more conspicuously, please?
Actually, Maltravers is just wiring some cute cat pictures to his aunt in Jersey.
"Please read this aloud before sending so anyone can overhear my evil plans. Thank you."
THRILL as the brave mouse paces back and forth a few steps!
"That's a brilliant idea that will absolutely have no disastrous consequences later on!"
So the Californian never received the distress call because of a pack of overzealous mice?
"Let's see...The guy sending this is a weiner. HEY!"
Funny, I thought the iceberg would have been bigger.
"Good, it's quiet. Nobody can see me reuse this animation..."
"You mean besides your crippling lockjaw?"
"Give or take about two and half hours."
And why midnight exactly, anyway? Is that what Maltravers has in the death pool:?
"Well, except for that one time Jeeves went surfing..."
"Except for Roy Scheider."
"Maybe I should just save a seat in the lifeboats now, beat the rush..."

Capped by TheDiva

No comments:

Post a Comment