Thumbelina, Part 6

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"Love between two male swallows is unnatural!"

Everyone say it with her now...

Beautiful.

You know, say what you will about the Disney Princesses, at least most of them didn't whine to their mommies when things didn't go their way...

So...yeah. A shoe.

o/...Fah-hoo forus, dah-hoo dorus, welcome Christmas, come this way...o/

With winter coming, the singing animals were all slaughtered for food. And there was much rejoicing.
(Yay.)

.oO(I don't care if she's lost, that's no excuse to leave the window open! Does she think I'm heating the whole barnyard?)

.oO(I'll just go back to the fairy and get another barleycorn. Maybe it'll grow into a kid with a little more common sense...)

o/...THUM-BE-LIN-AAAAAAAAAAAAAA--
"Oh, shut the fuck up already!"

This is the scene we like to call "Hey, These Characters Are Still In Our Movie!"

Must have been Hell doing to boning on her corsets.

The dog has male pattern baldness!

What era is this set in, anyway? Middle Renaissance Festival?

So, you're really going to go through this entire song again? Folks, now might be a good time for a bathroom break.

Wasn't she the con artist with the fake jewelry in the animated Titanic?

It's a Charlie Brown chicken!

He has a Pop-O-Matic head.

"My nostrils! Who stole my nostrils?!"

Sure it's filler, but at least it's not filler with Gilbert Gottfried talking.

Just because you technically can reach that note doesn't mean you should.

*glass shatters*

From all of us at Thumbelina, have a happy holiday season.

Yup, still a shoe.

Thank God, someone finally killed the soundtrack.

"I was until you started talking."

So, the Cinderella gig wasn't paying the bills, huh?

"The mouth of Hell."

Imagine how awkward it would be if we did this: "Hi, I'm Mr. Human, this is my wife Mrs. Human-Human and our friends the Humans..."

"But where's the land serene and the crystal moon?"

They got Carol Channing because getting Ryan Stiles to do his Carol Channing impression would have cost too much.

"No, and neither will anyone else. Now let's see, the crawl space should be just about ready..."

"Ha-ha, you almost died of hypothermia! You're a laugh riot!"

Her mind isn't so much one track as one note.

"Well duh. How many two-inch-tall humans do YOU see walking around these parts?"

How does she know this stuff? Did she get a copy of the screenplay, like the Electric Mayhem in The Muppet Movie?

"Shame about him running off to New Hampshire with that poolboy."

*Psycho violins*

"Dead? Is that bad?"

"Wow, she's really hamming it up in there."

What are you, the Grinch?

"Good, good, now tell her she was adopted!"

"I have Exposition Tourettes."

"You've got half the animal kingdom lining up to bang you, after all!"

"Except George Clooney. Homina homina!"

"I'm taking you clubbing tonight!"

"With his roommates, Mr. Chipmunk and Miss Northern Short-Tailed Shrew."

"You only have frostbite on three toes, quit being such a baby!"

"I told him you'd do a striptease."

"Well, compared to the other characters in this movie..."

"Come on, give him a few bars of 'Poker Face'!"

And once again, a minor character browbeats Thumbelina into doing something she doesn't really want to do.

"Actually dearie, it was autoerotic asphyxiation...oops, there I go blurting stuff out again!"

Wow, Mole's so rich he just leaves it lying around in his front yard. He's like a redneck with a high tax bracket.

Nope, too subtle. Could you try being a little more ominous?

"Your wealth is looking mighty ostentatious today."

"I seem to have got my head stuck in a coffee filter, could you help?"

"Her boyfriend's dead, you know."

"The attic?"

"Those darn toads coming in and taking jobs from honest mammals..."

A lot of guys talk to a woman's boobs, but it takes a special kind of perv to talk to her cooch!

"Please don't say you want to marry me."

Dude, what are you, four?

"You'll love them, I got out most of the weevils this time!"

"If you eat them fast enough, you don't even notice the taste!"

"Mother warned me that could happen."

So, if he never goes outside, where does his stuff come from?

Well, so much for the "decent" part.

"You two have so much in common!"

"Okay, I'll tell you about Tess of the d'Urbervilles..."

Cool, she's going to do "Doll on a Music Box"!

"Um...line?"

"No, don't encourage her!"

o/...Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me...o/

She said sing, she didn't say anything about interpretive dance!

"Hey babe, it's great being cryogenically frozen. Me and Disney are best buds now..."

"Miss Fieldmouse, why did she stop singing?"
"Um, I think she's having a psychotic episode..."

Andres Serrano's Piss Thumbelina

I think Thumbelina just invented German Existentialism.

"Damn, another boyfriend dissolved on me."

"And I'll remember Mama, too."

Could someone give Thumbelina her Zoloft?

"I liked the part where everything died."

*ahem* "Call me Ishmael..."

"I had tied an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time..."

"The Ark of the Covenant!"

"Let's go poke it with a stick!"

Well, that's your business and nobody else's, I'm sure.

Oh...my...God, he's the Jitterbug serial killer! RUN, THUMBELINA!!!

Hooray! o/...Ding dong the bird is dead...o/

Terminal Frenchness?

"Making statements of 140 characters or less online? Rubbish!"

"Can I have your iPhone?"

"I'm sure the meat will just fall right off the bone when we roast her..."

"Is that a salt shaker on your head?"

Whoops, hit a speed bump in the time stream...

"Wait, haven't we done this part already?"

"Very well. The word is 'Antistratfordianism'."

Are there no myopic girl moles in the area? He should try a dating site.

"What's the word? Oh right, horny."

Hating tedious "comic" misunderstandings like this one?

"-to-to-let me tap that."

What is it with that girl? She must give off serious pheromones or something.

"So could a reader for the blind; I don't see you wanting to marry one."

"I'll give you my lucky Sacajewea dollar!"

She'll do anything for a poker chip.

Don Bluth's The Matchmaker

Um...that's not his heart...

Not dead? Dammit!
Still, he's unconscious and can't sing or talk, so that counts for something...

Thumbelina knows it's Prince Spaghetti Night!

"Cold? I ordered him braised!"

"This is a G-rated movie, we can't die!"

"I've got an idea. Have you ever seen Weekend at Bernie's?

Capped by TheDiva
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