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Sounds like the unicorns from Legend are walking by...
"Sudden infatuation is fun!"
What I wouldn't give for a poacher to club him right about now.
"He's mentally disturbed, and I find that charming!"
Um, isn't it tomorrow already?
"I know, I'll swim across to Hogwarts!"
"Wanna go bark at some tourists?"
Mr. Mercutio, is there something you'd like to share with the rest of the movie?
He has to laugh at himself because nobody else will.
"Promise?"
"He was suicidal?"
He truly is the George Carlin of the pinniped world.
.oO(He's been at this for ten hours now...)
.oO(If I kill him now, the sharks will get to his body before anybody notices he's missing...)
"Actually sand fleas are a type of crustacean and are unrelated to canine parasites..."
KILL HIM! KILL HIM! KILL HIM!
.oO(Yes, this will be perfect for bashing his head in...)
Maybe Benvolio is just stoned out of his gourd, that's why he's not doing anything about this...
"Lookit me, I'm a Rastafarian!"
Yeah, compared to Jay Leno.
On behalf of everyone everywhere, we'd like to apologize for that last scene.
Ah, the mysterious Voice Synthesizer Grotto...
Jack Sparrow is fighting Barbossa in there, Captain Hook's tying Tiger Lily to a rock...
"Friar Laurence, can you turn off the vaguely eerie chant music and come out here for a second?"
.oO(Maybe if I call his name ten more times, he'll show up...)
So seals are Catholic? I'd always thought they'd be into Zen...
The Hildegard von Bingen Caverns
Voldemort's Horcrux must be here somewhere...
So, basically you went to Shakespeare's page on Wikiquote and made a movie around it, huh?
"This is gonna be the best gumbo EVER!"
"That's my favorite web bookmarking utility!"
"Uh, I wasn't breaking my Lenten fast!"
Is it really a good idea for a friar to have a portal to Hell in his chambers?
He's a fried friar! Ha ha...kill me, please.
Isn't this Ursula's old pad?
I didn't know otters changed color if you got them warm...
"I can't tell you how long I've waited to hear you say that..."
"I thought she was into ME!"
"Okay, you're mental then."
"Next thing you know you'll be wanting me to make a living death potion so you two can be together!"
"It's not like I'm looking for a lifetime commitment or anything!"
Friar Laurence was pressured to resign by the state of Louisiana after refusing to perform an interracial seal marriage.
"I'll be your best friend! I'll share my dessert with you at lunch!"
"Accidental death and suicide, I guess."
"She's the most beautiful girl I've met this week!"
"Oh who asked you, crock pot?"
"Next they'll be asking me to marry Mercutio and Benvolio..."
"What do you think, oh Holy Oyster of Saint Lutrinae?"
"No, those pearls were my retirement fund!"
So he's kind of a Catholic-Pagan-Voodoo priest, I guess...
"Peanut butter and chocolate together?"
Jay-Jay Jet Plane: A Love Story
So, their love will lead to a square dance?
"But you have to attend three weeks of pre-nuptial counseling first."
"Easy boy, Friar Laurence is being very closely monitored by the diocese."
"Or maybe it'll just cause this whole damn feud to blow up in our faces."
"Hi, I'm here for the Naomi Circle meeting..."
"I've missed you so much--it's been minutes since I saw you last!"
"Come on, let's get married so we can get it on!"
Um, if you're diabetic, you might want to look away now.
"No, we're gonna do it right here in the narthex!"
"Except for the part that's devoted to Edward Cullen."
"Holy estate, instituted by God, blah blah blah..."
"Oh yeah, we gotta hurry 'cause I'm taking the youth group bowling this afternoon."
*Beauty and the Beast theme music*
Quite a coup getting Captain Nemo to play for their ceremony...
"...In sickness and in health, till ridiculously contrived death do you part?"
I'm sure most priests have a rule against marrying people when they're baked...
"Mmmmm, you're so temporarily attractive."
They must've had a hell of a time installing a rose window in the cave like that...
o/....Aaaaaaave Mariiiiiia....o/
So, what do you throw at a seal wedding, anyway? Plankton?
Meanwhile, in The Day the Earth Froze...
o/...It's the ciiiiircle of liiiiiife...o/
Gaah, not him again!
"Shut up now or I will end you."
Can he really be the "comic relief" when he's neither?
Smarter than you?
.oO(Hey, if I hold my flippers like this, I can hear the ocean...)
o/...Every seal's a little bit racist todaaaaay...o/
"Sorry, skipped second breakfast today."
Finally, someone's going to kill him!
Even Michael Richards thinks his routine is insensitive.
"Dude, I only have a system of paired ganglia and even I don't find you funny."
"Please, save me! He won't stop until he's dead!"
Ha-ha, he's a lovable genocidal maniac!
We're not that lucky.
"So, lynch him or just beat him to death?"
IMAX presents: The Ocean Floor
It's padding, but at least it's not Mercutio telling bad jokes.
Ladies and Gentlemen: ENYA!
I"m swimming, Romeo! I'm swimming!"
Okay, let's see...*checks IMDb* 2006. Okay, so this joke isn't quite a decade out of date...
So nice of Yanni to play their wedding reception for them.
"Hey, look over here: a corpse of a terrier with a boom box!"
John Jacob Astor's throwing a party!
Hate to break this to you, but the Californian isn't coming...
"Wanna check out the cigar bar?"
Kate Winslet's ghost meets them coming the other way...
Filmed at Norma Desmond's house.
"It's beautiful! Just think, people perished in here!"
"You got a fake ID on you?"
A jazz rave?
It's less impressive when you realize he needs half his arms to play a simple chord.
"Have you tried the drowned corpses yet? They're delicious!"
"We can't stay long; my dad has a strict ten o'clock curfew."
"Fresh! Just cause we're married doesn't mean you can kiss me whenever you want!"
They're so sweetly dysfunctional.
Romeo's signaling that he's into bondage.
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