Scarlet Letter Productions presents....
That's Orlando Bloom's mobbed-up cousin, right?
Ewww, the dog's peeing on Russia!
Is this the same legend that "Goes On" in the other movie? Cause I don't think I could take any more rapping dogs....
Hey, if we hurry we can still catch the second-act injuries of Spider-Man: Turn of the Dark!
Is this the opening to a Titanic movie or the Macy's Parade?
Fay Wray's not ready for her date yet...
"Or did your crippling PTSD leave you a shaking wreck for years to come?"
"You can find pleasure, search the world for treasure, learn science technology!"
"Apart from its outdated rudder, brittle hull, and insufficient lifeboats, anyway..."
Why is the paper written in Morse Code?
"Shhhh, ixnay on the eathday!"
...
Yes, you heard him right. The deaths of fifteen hundred people, including some of the richest and most influential figures of the early 20th century, is all a misunderstanding. I'm sure he has some interesting theories on 9/11 as well.
"Summoning the ship's call girl."
"That's your grandmother's first pregnancy test; it's a priceless family heirloom!"
It summons Vanilla Ice? I can see why you wouldn't want to blow on it then...
"The year was nineteen-ought-six. The President is the divine Miss Sarah Bernhardt and all over America people were doing a dance called the Funky Grandpa..."
"Quick, find something bad to do before he starts talking!"
Grandpa, they can't hear your inner monologue...
o/...Finland Finland Finland, that's the country for me!...o/
"I said England!"
Oh...
Particularly for a young girl such as myself...
Abraham Lincoln sailed on the Titanic?
"Mustaches only this line; non-mustaches take the next ramp over..."
"Let's see...Hugh Jass, now boarding a Hugh Jass..."
No please, just drive to the front of the line; I'm sure the other passengers won't mind at all...
The 1912 Honda Element
Lord Cottonchops has arrived!
"Come on out; it's a beautiful day to be rich and white!"
Whoa, deja Winslet...
The cast of A Chorus Line is ready to sail!
"He'd also like to know what manner of towel animal you'd like in your cabin..."
"Such a big, strong, forceful ship...um, what are you doing later?"
"See? We can do the Kate Winslet establishing shot too!"
Still, there's been no seagull ass so far, so props for that...
Some random kids from Oliver! wander through the shot...
DUN DUN DUN!
Sylvester?
Bilbo and his friends make their escape.
"This bites. I'm going to go model for the Bad Kitty books."
Idiot, don't you know that every time you thought it was a goner the cat comes back?
He's dressed like the black chick from Saved by the Bell...
It's an open call for the next American Tail sequel!
"Heil Mousler!"
Annette! Tommy! Cubby!
"Mr. and Mrs. Crude Ethnic Stereotype..."
...Tell me I did not just hear that.
Really? They named their offspring after their favorite food? Imagine if humans did that:
"Hi, have you met our kids, Bacon and Eggs, Cheeseburger With Fries, and Chicken Parmigiana?"
*rimshot*
"Okay, nobody move back there, we don't have the budget to animate it!"
Hey, the mouse in the blue turban cloned himself!
"What, cheese names aren't good enough for you?"
Oh, she's so...exactly like the other mice...
"Cool, Diary of a Wimpy Kid! Can I read it when you're done?"
Tom Collins? Good, I could use a drink...
"You'll have plenty of time to stalk the passengers onboard!"
You got a megaphone or something? We can't hear you back here!
Did we really need a detailed explanation about how small vermin got onto the Titanic?
"Who cares? We're going on a cruise, not being press-ganged into the Navy."
You know, at this point I'd almost welcome the mariachi mice. Heck, I think I even see one of them back there.
"Ha-ha, your fear of hypothermia amuses us!"
"Step lively, wind in yer sails, and other generic sailor talk!"
Doogie Hawser?
"Just say the word and she sleeps with the fishes."
A PT Barnum mouse!
"Political upheaval."
"Though if I'd actually learned anything about it I'd know you call it 'football,' like nearly every other country apart from the United States..."
"But what the game really needs is hyperactive announcers who talk faster than cattle auctioneers and scream 'GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!' every time someone scores..."
*ball lands in water, floats away*
Okay, fine...now what are you going to do about the fact the game is boring as all get-out?
Don Bluth's Bend It Like Beckham
"Only not as lame."
Watch it, you almost hit Tevye Gigio back there!
"Just don't ask what we can do with tiny Speedos!"
I suppose it's too much to hope for that strychnine will play a major part in the plot?
"Not yet, there's still some exposition to get out of the way."
Ernst Blofeld's ancestors.
He's a pirate!
Maltravers? Too subtle. They should have named him Baron Evil von Evilton.
"No you don't, Daddy, but thank you for mentioning it to the audience."
"Well all right, death it is then."
Oh come now. Forty is the new thirty for disgusting evil serpents, I'm told!
"You kids these days, with your motorcars and your women's suffrage..."
"Now if you'll excuse me, I think I hear my tragically star-crossed love calling..."
"Tramps and thieves, too! Just like we heard from the people in the town!"
"I'm evil, by the way, have you picked up on that yet?"
Do Gypsies really dress like Victorian stage magicians?
They hope to go to America, where they will be free to love as they choose!
The cast of Les Miserables approves!
That's not a cravat; it's a tablecloth!
"You bitch, you said I was the only one in your life!"
"Or just leap spastically around, that works too!"
.oO(What was I supposed to do again?...Oh who cares? There's a fire hydrant I haven't sniffed yet!)
We never did discover who let them out, did we?
They have to make a Twilight Bark about some Dalmatians.
Capped by TheDiva
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