Um, the tissues are supposed to go inside your dress...
Is that acting or epilepsy?
"That's nice, miss, but this is the "At the Ballet" number from A Chorus Line..."
Their first mistake was hiring Katie Holmes to play Christine...
*truck backing up beeps*
o/...Like buy a fridge together...o/
"Back off, Giselle, this is MY solo!"
*winces*
Why does the boat have ram horns?
Well, he's instantly better vocally than Gerard Butler, give him that.
You don't have to sing all twelve tones in a single syllable, just pick one!
The Spastic Limb Treatment Center presents Phantom of the Opera
"I'm moving the gondola with my MIIIIIIIND!"
That's not Christine, it's Riley from The Guild!
Don't blink!
"Dammit, you knocked my contact out!"
"Well, he might be hideous, but with all that flailing around I can't tell..."
Your little zing?
"Feast your eyes, glut your soul on my eczema!"
"Now vipe my vindows!"
"Um, sorry, what were you saying?"
Gesundheit!
Unfortunately they got the performance rights for all the lyrics, but only half the music.
Golson gargle?
Wow, even from back here he's overacting...
They shouldn't have hired Ben Stein as their dialect coach.
"But I'm in my bathrobe!"
"And I have a bhangra number to rehearse!"
"That that that that that!"
When your parts sync up, let us know.
"That's just decadent Western propaganda!"
Featuring Jon Lovitz as Bollywood!Raoul.
"His acting!...Horror! Horror!..."
"...that could be called hideous; we really need a better makeup budget..."
The Phantom of the Opera will not be seen today. In its place, we present the dream ballet from Oklahoma!
"Whee!"
So that's what happened to Jennifer Gray's original nose.
Touchdown!
"Nice cooch!"
And a random rhythm gymnastics move for no reason.
Raoul's singing dubbed by Perry Como
Wait, is this another production done with cross-dressing women in the men's parts?
It's the Sayid/Nadia pas de deux from Lost: The Ballet!
"Look at my granny panties!"
Cirque du Soleil's Phantom
*vvvvvvroooom!*
Wonder Twin Powers ACTIVATE!
o/...Masquerade! We're lip syyynching toooo the caaast re-cor-ding!...o/
Wow, Marie Antoinette didn't have this big of a powdered wig budget!
Are they doing the Electric Slide?
Who needs choreography when you can wander around sort of in time the music?
They had to hire specialty dancers to do the complicated half-turn-around-the-other-guy maneuver.
The Sir Percy Blakeney Dance Troupe!
o/...Amadeus Amadeus, oh oh oh Amadeus!...o/
"To beehives!"
o/...Ring around the rosey...o/
Hair by Cake Wrecks.
"That's our one jump! Goodnight everybody!"
"Mom made me wear this shawl 'cause it's cold."
Teacher's trying to get their attention by flipping the light switch.
"So you didn't get the powdered wig memo, huh?"
"Which I have right he--oh, dammit!"
His mask is made out of fondant!
"Hand me my top hat!"
"And I have some criticisms about the kettle as well..."
Not Diors?
Why did the Phantom come to the masquerade dressed as a bellhop?
"Fine, Raoul, just let the insane guy in a mask walk away with me. I'll be okay, really..."
"--Dev Patel!"
"Oh crap, this was supposed to lower a lot faster..."
"Next year we'll just have a company picnic."
Hey, it's the opera's biggest fan!
(Don't hit!)
Ole!
Meanwhile, in Strictly Ballroom...
Gender segregated tango kind of loses something.
So You Think You Can Dance?: Egypt Edition
o/...We are the Threeeee Aaaaaaamigos...o/
Special thanks to Lupe Hernandez' "Salsa Dance for Beginners" class.
o/...If you're blue and you don't know where to go to...o/
Wow, I've never seen anyone march a tango before.
Nice upholstery fabric coats, though.
"Really? I didn't know it was going to be that easy."
"Psych! I'm bombing the Opera House now."
"Um, could you return my stereo first?"
"But I'm following you on Twitter!"
*Stanislavsky Moment*
"You guys suck! I'm taking my opera and going home!"
"I want to see other opera singers."
"We can no longer fool ourselves about our acting ability."
Ta-daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Capped by TheDiva
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